Tag Archives: kids

I don’t want to grow up…

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“I can’t wait to grow up! When I’m an adult, I’m going to stay up late, buy what I want, eat what I want, do whatever I want!” How many of you remember saying this? I know I did and I still hear it on a daily basis from my own children. It’s funny how things change…

“How do they change?” you ask. Well I’ll tell you! When you’re a kid, you spend so much time dreaming about growing up and making your own rules! The act of eating dessert for breakfast consumes your thoughts. The idea of playing with your toys early into the morning hours is exhilarating and dangerous! You plan on sleeping as late as you want and never taking a bath. You’ll laugh at the thought of having to ask to watch what you want on TV. Happy Meals will be your staple meal every. day. of. the. week. Not only will you order as many Happy Meals as you want but you’ll also go ahead and spring for that dipped cone! Everyone will be jealous of your shiny red sports car, the real one, not the one on the video game. Although, it will be an exact replica of that one. Oh and that little lie your mom and dad tell you about not having any money when you want that special, new toy, well it’s just that a dirty, rotten lie…you think…Yep, when you grow up you’re gonna buy all the new toys the day they come out and you’re getting a dog, scratch that you’re gettin’ ten dogs…and a cat! When you grow up, you’re gonna RULE!!!!!!

And, then you blink and you are a thirty-two year old “grown up”, married with kids. Being grown up isn’t quite how you pictured it. Sure you could stay up as late as you want but it’s not nearly as fun as you thought it was going to be. You quickly discovered what you’re parents were doing up so late. They weren’t playing Monopoly and watching cartoons while eating big bowls of cereal. They were cleaning up your messes and getting things ready to do it all over again the next day. When you were a kid you kicked and screamed because you had to go to bed, now you kick and scream because you WANT to go to bed, but there’s just, still. too. much. left. to. do! So much for those Happy Meals you planned on eating until your heart’s content. Now you know your heart’s content” depends on NOT eating greasy Happy Meals, but instead opting for the salad. Who need’s clogged arteries?

sweet brown

You also soon realize…mommy and daddy weren’t lying about not having any money! Oh the atrocity! Sooooo……you’re married with children huh? How’s that TV watchin’ working out for ya now? Before you had to ask your parents, now you have to ask your spouse and kids! A person can only handle so much “Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?” SPONGEBOB, that’s who, now quit asking!!! If I was Squidward I’d hide too….. It was a sad day when you went to the car lot and realized you’re whole family couldn’t fit in that little red sports car….what do you mean it doesn’t fit eight! Now you’re back to square one, but instead of saying “when I grow up” you find yourself saying “when my kids grow up…..I’m getting that little red car!” “Honey, can we get a dog?” you ask your loving spouse. “NO” is the only reply you get. You’re a grown up and you’re still asking for a dog:) Heck, you can’t even have that dipped cone you were hoping for because your body retains too much fat! You don’t rule, you still have rules!

You now sit and listen to your children say “I can’t wait to grow up!” while you’re telling them “Oh yes you can!” I decided that being an adult is nothing but a glorified kid with responsibilities! Instead of having to ask your parents, you have to ask your husband or your wife! Now we can only dream of being made to go to bed or lay down for naps! Those were the days…when your meals were prepared for you, your clothes washed and ready for you to put on, your sheets were clean and your pillows were fluffy:) When your only worry was trying NOT to get grounded from the TV before the new episode of The Wonder Years came on. Now when you lay your head down at night to go to sleep, with thoughts running wild through your head, you find yourself singing the old tune…”I don’t want to grow up, I’m a Toy’s R Us kid…..”

XOXOXO~
~Mommamamom~

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To my dear child,

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This world is scary, it is big, mean, cruel, unjust, cold, evil, unloving, and at times very dark. I want you, my child, to be aware, stay alert and be on your toes at all times. Be ready to fight and stand up for what is right. Be ready to be judged, mocked, laughed at, and sometimes beat down. You will be yelled at, spit upon, cursed, possibly by the person you love the most. There will be times when you have to stay strong in the midst of complete and utter fear and despair. You can’t let your guard down, not even for a second. Your heart will be broken, you will lose jobs, you will lose loved ones to death and sometimes even worse…drugs and alcohol. You will see grown men cry and innocent children hurt beyond repair. In your lifetime you will witness famine and war. You will see people of power, people in which you are suppose to trust, lie, cheat, steal, and kill. Sadly you will hear of people being murdered because of their choice in clothes, lovers, music, freedom of expression. There will be children that kill themselves because the cruelty of other children is unbearable. In your lifetime you will have to watch your spouse, parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, brothers, sisters, or possibly even God forbid your children fight battles with cancer and other diseases. You will suffer loss so horrific that you won’t be able to see the sun shining for weeks, even on the brightest day. Sadly, there will be times you feel scared and alone.

However, you are not alone. “Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.” (Deuteronomy 31:6) I want you to know my dear child that through all of this you will never be alone. All earthly people will at times disappoint you, even me, the one who felt you grow from within me for nine months, even me, the one who prayed for your existence in my life and felt you grow within my heart. The greatest people will disappoint you in times of your greatest need. In all of your existence there will only be one that can truly give you what you need. There is only one that will always be there, showing you the love, grace and forgiveness that you need. You will not feel deserving or worthy of it. You won’t believe that it is really there. You will probably always question it. I do. But I want you to know and to believe that you are worthy and deserving and special. You are fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14). Our God, your God is always there and never disappointing.

“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” (Isaiah 41:10) Now you know that through all the angst of the world in which you have no choice but to live in, there is hope. There is hope in God, and if you have hope in God then you have a chance at life. Please hold onto the hope and love that God gives you. If you can do this, you will live a life full of color and happiness. With hope in your heart you will see hunger being satisfied. You will see smiles and hear laughter. You will see war’s coming to an end and lives being rebuilt. With hope, doors will close and new ones will be opened for you. You will reach for the stars and succeed. You will see the good in helping people up after they have fallen. You will want to be the solid rock in which helps them climb up instead of the jagged edge that trips them. There will be first dates, first kisses and late night phone conversations. You will run and be free and oh baby, you will smile, will you ever smile! You will dance at your wedding and be a witness to life being born. You will know true love and pure joy. There will be sunsets and sunrises that are so beautiful that no words could ever describe. You will sing so loud you’ll lose your voice and dance so hard you’ll lose your breath. You will laugh, oh child, you will laugh so hard tears will fall! You will rejoice in battles that have been won, and you will hold onto those you love when they start to lose hope from battles lost. There will be birthdays and cake, yes, lot’s of cake! You will walk barefoot in soft grass and warm sand. You will swim in waters that have no end in sight. Did I mention you will love and you will be loved? There will be great joy in looking back at the years you have lived and knowing that you lived, you really lived a life full of hope, love, grace, and happiness.

There is one more thing I want you to know. Always remember that I love you. I have loved you from the beginning and I will love you until the end. There will be times I disappoint you and I know that there will be moments I am disappointed in you, but there is one thing that will never end and that is my love for you. A life without disappointment is no life lived at all. Go out and spread your wings. Live this life to the fullest. Achieve the greatest and don’t be afraid to fall, just get up and try again. Smile that beautiful smile of yours. It would be a disservice to the world to keep it to yourself. Try new things. Meet new people. Visit new places. Make mistakes and learn from them. Open your heart and mind and love life. Listen, listen, listen to the sounds of the world. And pray like there is no tomorrow. Ask for God’s guidance in all that you do and you will live a successful, promising life and you will leave a mark on this world to be proud of. “The Lord is with me; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?” (Psalm 118:6)

Love,
Your Mom…

P.S. I hope I’m there to see it all!

Girl, Don’t you know what causes that?…Part Deux

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It all started Saturday morning. I woke up at 6:00 a.m. to the birds chirping and a gentle breeze rustling my bedroom curtains. Hahahaha, okay, okay, so I rolled outta bed around 9 to a horrid screeching noise that sounded like it was painfully escaping…is that Why for, no, nope, definitely not, its Sporty McGee! You see Sporty McGee thinks that these God awful, unnatural, throaty sounds that he can make are cute. So FAR from cute, bordering on, if you don’t stop I’m going to rip you voice box out! Anyway, I scramble out the tangled mess of blankets that have unsuccessfully tried to eat me in the middle of the night. I’m. Going. to. strangle. that. child. Or maybe I’ll just have to breathe on him and the stank from my morning breath (post hot tamales before bed party) will silence him into submission. I start screaming “Sporty McGee SHUT IT! Everybody, get dressed quick, we got us some shopping to do!” The kids all of a sudden burst out into excited chatter, “oh shopping!” “Mama, I want an Xbox One” “Can I get Titanfall?” “Bad A** I need some new shoes!” My head jerks around as I’m clearing my throat, “Ummmm excuse ME Sporty McGee, what did you just say?” insert awkward silence here.  (Sporty McGee frequently forgets he just a young pup) “I said awesome Mom, I need some new shoes” insert oops busted, smile here.  “Yeah, that’s what I thought you said” I say this as I’m giving him the eye. The eye as in ‘boy I’m gonna whoop yo butt’, the eye as in ‘yo betta watch yoself’, or the eye as in “SHE’S GONNA BLOoOoOW!”  ~ “Oh silly children, we aren’t going shopping for you! Tomorrow’s Father’s Day, we gotta go get your Daddy something.” I explain in my best fairytale telling voice.  As I’m sure most of you know, a fairytale telling voice is one that is spoken in a sing song manner.  “Now get dressed PRONTO! I’m leaving in 5.” hahaha! Yeah right maybe 5 minutes in a Walgreens world (remember those commercials?)

Sooooo, an hour later we are all piled in the car ready to start our Father’s Day shopping extravaganza…first stop Atwoods!  We roll into Atwoods and SCORE (my life is all about “winning” these days) find a spot right next to the cart return! Oh yes, the days of parking as far away from that monstrosity so the car doesn’t banged up are loooong gone! Psshhhh! Besides, a dent from a runaway cart would go nicely with the side scratch from Butter Beans bike:) After I pull into the coveted spot and throw the bus into park, I bow my head dramatically as if I’m praying(I actually am praying for my sanity and patience) but I do this to quiet the congregation.  When I dramatically bow my head my little stars usually start saying “I didn’t do it!” before they quiet and listen to what the Big Kahuna has to say.  I slowly turn to face them and I speak in a quiet and gruff voice, I say “So help me Mother Mary, if ya’ll act up in here YOU WONT WANT TO SEE THE OUTCOME, make me proud kids, make me proud” After our little pep talk we all fall out of the bus. (or some people have felt the need to tell me that my precious family reminds them of clowns getting out of the car, “they just kept comin” haha) So for entertainment sake lets pretend that we pile out of a little ‘ole Volkswagen Bug! We all stand side by side holding hands taking up half the length of the parking lot as we walk in (imagine that there is a way cool them song playing while we walk across the parking lot, something like Bon Jovi’s Wanted Dead or Alive) We make it inside the store and grab a cart, I start throwing kids in while the big ones argue over who gets to push.  I look up from my work and notice the smug look and slight head shake I’m getting from a, well we’ll call her “nice”, lady.  I look her in the eye as she is silently counting my children and say “What? Haven’t ya ever seen a mama bring her kids to the store to shop for their daddies?” (notice I used Daddies in the plural form, yes as in a different Daddy for each one) Muahhhahahahaha, Just kidding, I totally didn’t, but imagine what the look on her face would have been had I actually said that!

After Atwoods, we head to the mall!  Once we get to the mall we hit a few stores pretty uneventfully until I stop in Hallmark on our way out. Which by the way is NOT a good store to take 5 boys and 1 girl who thinks she is a boy into! They really should reconfigure the lay out of their store! Anyhow, as I’m swatting hands back and hollering “stop that, don’t touch” I meet a man who finds my situation comical:) As he is chuckling he says “Boy, you got your hands full don’t ya?!” He continues to walk away but then stops and says (because obviously this is an important question) “Hey, I didn’t even ask…are they ALL yours?” I shake my head yes. Laughing even harder now he points towards us and says “Look Honey, better her than me huh?” hahaha.  Oh boy, the things people say! Boy, he doesn’t know how lucky he is that I prayed for sanity and patience before I went shopping, does he?!?!!! LOL.  After taking a quick break at the water park, we end our Father’s Day shopping extravaganza at Wal-Mart with Snookums. In Wal-Mart Snookums and I divide and conquer.  He takes half to the hunting and fishing department, while I take the other half to get what I need.  After I’m finished gathering all my items my half and I join Snookums, I turn the cart down the aisle to find Snookums talking fishing lures with his new pal, Gently Used Gent (image a very big, loud, country boy). When I join the pair, Gently Used Gent, or lets call him G.U.S. looks at me and says in a boisterous voice “you do have a brute of kids don’t ya!” insert knee slapping and lots of laughing here. “Oh boooooy, that’s a lot of kids! I don’t think I’ve ever seen so many before (he’s obviously exaggerating, I mean come on, who hasn’t seen 19 kids and counting) They all yours?” Snookums chuckling says “Yes, Sir they are” G.U.S. continues with “Don’t you know what causes that?” Okay, at this point I magically freeze the scene (like they do in movies) and I think to myself, OMG (said in my most annoying “valley girl” voice)  here’s my chance to use one of my witty comebacks! Unfreeze scene. “Well of course we do, that’s the problem” says me:) Ummmm I should definitely rethink who I use my witty comebacks to in the future! My reply to G.U.S.’s question seems to really get him all excited, he starts laughing loudly again and he says to Snookums…..”How’d ya find one like her (talking about me) I gotta get me one of those! oh man, and she likes to fish! Wow, I’m gonna give you my number in case you find another one” At this point you are probably wondering if this really happened….yes, yes it did! He not only gave Snookums his number once but by the end of the conversation he had given it to him THREE times!! Oh I’m telling ya, the things people say!

Thank you for stopping by and reading my newest one!! If this one put a smile on your face and made you LOL then please share, share away with your friends! I appreciate you ALL! Have a Blessed day:)

XOXOXO~

~Mommamamom~ 

 

***Disclaimers***

***Snookums nor I condone childhood cussing and neither should you;) If you or someone you know suffers with this please seek help immediately.

***I would never really rip my child’s voice box out.

***Most days the things people say to me do not bother me. I actually get a kick out of them! So if you know me personally and are now racking your brain trying to remember what you have said to me in the past…STOP…and don’t worry I’m sure you’ll remember when you read about it in my blog:)

Aside

Father’s Day, the one day every year women across America pretend that they are excited for their husbands to go golfing. Or in mine and Snookums case it would be fishing:) Oh yes, the one time in 365 days, except for maybe on their birthday, that we wives put a smile on our face and bite our tongues as our husbands joyfully pack down the car, ice chests, boats, back packs, whatever it may to be to go on an adventure of their choice. (REWIND) Wait who am I kidding, Father’s Day is no different than Mother’s Day, let’s be real and call it what it is…Kid’s go shopping and make big breakfast mess Day!  It is a day that, yes dad’s can do something for fun that they enjoy, but feel obligated to take their little munchkins along for the ride.

At the beginning of this post I had a different idea for where I was going with it, but the more I typed the more my thoughts started leaning in a different direction.  I had planned on writing a really funny, witty, knee slapper if you will. But like in a lot of things God had a different idea for me.  So here goes! I hope you all enjoy my Tribute to All You Good ‘Ole Boys.  Father, Pops, Dad, Daddy call him what you will but there is a pretty universal meaning to these words. We all know Dad to mean the leading male role model in one’s life.  Does this mean that a Dad has to share the same DNA with the person that calls him this? Absolutely NOT! Let’s face it, “life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re gonna get” in the father department.  Some of us were blessed with our biological Father being there from day one to the last.  Some of us were blessed to be raised by a man who didn’t have any part in the actual “making” of us but stepped up to the plate, so to speak, to help raise us.  Dads come in all shapes, colors and sizes.  I’ve seen Dad’s come in the form of Grandpas, Uncles, Brothers, Friends.  If I was a bettin’ woman I would venture out to say that we all know someone who fits in one of these categories of a Father.  In my case I have had the honor of being molded by several of these examples. Hahaha! Get your minds out of the gutter!! NO, not because my Mom was that way! My parents were very young when they had me, so growing up my Grandpa and my Uncles were my Father figures.  As I got older (and a little more accepting) I let my Stepdad have some influence in my life.  After I had children, a lifelong childhood dream came true, I reconnected with my Daddy (yep, the one that helped “make” me)!  Then of course one of the very best examples that I have of a Dad is my very own Snookums.  He has showed me everything I ever dreamed of what a good Dad would be.  Some people might look at my situation and think, Oh that poor girl.  But I look at my situation and realize that had things been different I may not have turned out to be the person I am today.  I love ALL the Father figures in my life! I know that God had a perfect plan and for whatever reason, he needed me to have My Gangy, Uncle Grumpy, Uncle Boom, Dervin, and my Dad help me in all the different stages of my life. I sometimes think that Dad’s are the unsung heroes of the family!  And, yes, I realize that sometimes mommies are pulling “double duty” in the parenting department.  Let’s just stop right here and give a SHOUT OUT to all you Mommies out there playing both roles, for whatever reason it may be. Maybe your other half is away fighting for our Freedoms or maybe he was taken from this life to soon, maybe he has to work far from home to put food on the table, or maybe its just because he is one of the “deadbeats” whatever it may be I want to say THANK YOU to you!! You may feel invisible, you may feel worn out, you may feel like no one cares or understands but let me be the one to tell you, YOU ARE NOT ALONE, Joshua 1:9 “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”  There are so many tasks that Dad’s do that go unnoticed (or at least they think they do) but us Mommies notice them.  We notice and we THANK YOU for working hard EVERY DAY, for playing catch, for having tea parties, for “babysitting” your daughters dolly, for being the official spider killer, for coaching little league, for cooking breakfast on Saturday mornings (come on we all know that’s a Dad’s job), for changing dirty diapers when we are away (notice I said when we are AWAY) LOL, for kissing booboos and for wrestling and running amuck when our favorite television shows are on (of course we all have to drop to the floor and army crawl around like we are on a raid when it’s something they want to watch) 🙂  And we thank you for the countless number of things you do that I didn’t list.  Dad’s You are AWESOME!!!!  Let’s take this time to reminisce and remember the good ‘ole days….the before I had kids days.  I have made a list of some of my favorite before and afters……..

Before:  Wife: “Hey honey will you pick up a six pack on your way home?”

Husband: “Sure babe, how bout a bottle of wine too?”

After:    Wife: “Hey honey will you pick up a six pack on your way home?”

Husband: “Sure babe, do the kids want Tangy Original or Smooth?” (Sunny D of course)

Before:  Picture Man hugging a beautiful red sports car “I shall call her Ruby”

After:     Picture Man holding his first born “I shall call him son”

Before:  The man jammed out to Snoop Dog, Dr. Dre, and Tupac

After:     Now he catches himself singing (out loud) “Do you wanna build a Snowman?” at work.

Before:   The mans idea of a good wrestling match involved mud and scantily dressed woman.

After:      The mans idea of a good wrestling match is one that ends with one of the kids NOT crying in the end!

Thank you all for reading and I hope you all have had a fabulous Father’s Day so far!! If you know Dad like one of these or a double duty pulling Momma Share this! Keep watching for more!! God Bless!!!

XOXOXO

~Mommamamom~

Father’s Day: A Tribute to All You Good ‘Ole Boys

Girl, don’t you know what causes that?

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Yes, as a matter of fact I do know what causes this! Snookums’ likes to respond with “that’s the problem” then he follows with a hardy hahaha. Having a large family comes with its fare share of “luggage” but one of my favorite and sometimes very annoying “carry on bags” is the one filled with all the questions, looks, whispers and just flat out bug eyed stares that we get on any given family outing.  Oh yes, people love to ask questions and make assumptions.  For the most part snookums and I can find the humor in it, but of course there are always those times when we have had “one of those days”. You know what kind I’m talking about. The kind that make Mommy Dearest look like Mary Poppins, the days that you find yourself googling the nearest mental hospital because that’s the closet version of a day spa you’ll ever lay eyes on! Yes, the days where your hairs a mess and you very well may have the same make up on from the night before. Yep, the kind of day when you are afraid to smile too big because you can’t recall if you brushed your teeth this morning or not! Those are always the days that we get the skeptical look, when we’re waiting in the check out line at Wal-Mart, the look of “where’d that one come from”?  Let me paint the picture…Me standing in line at Wal-Mart. I’ve got one hand holding onto the back of the baby’s shirt (so he doesn’t fall out of the cart of course) the other arm is reaching over into the basket swatting at the daughter’s eager efforts to open the ice cream carton, my leg is bent in an awkward position trying to protect the “I want this” stuff marketing people so cleverly place low to the ground in the check out stations from my “challenger” and I am looking in every which direction saying, “no you can’t have that, hey don’t touch that, I said no you, oh heck whoever you are”  to my three bigs whom I might add are suppose to know better. *sarcastic cough* yeah right *sarcastic cough*. Snookums is usually totally embarrassed and over it by this point that he is pretending not to be with us. While all of this is going on I have the lady behind me say “boy you guys have you’re hands full don’t ya.” Then, lady behind me will very dramatically look and every single one of the eight of us and then look back at our daughter and then snookums and me and then back at my daughter and so curiously ask “Are they ALL yours?” (I guess those of you reading this may be wondering why the looks? Our daughter is biracial and we were blessed by God with the chance to make her ours through adoption.) By this point I’m ready to scream in my best Ross Gellar impersonation with my hands flailing  “We were on a break!!!!” (Friends, best sitcom of all time!). Instead I ever so politely say “Yes, they are all ours whether it be biologically or through the wonderful gift of adoption” insert prettiest smile here.  It’s times like this, when snookums and I are walking back to the car, heads hanging, because we gave into our children’s relentless begging’s for chocolate, that we review the questions we get on a daily basis, most of the time from complete strangers.  It is in the safety of our car, which by the way would give a hard rock concert a run for it’s money noise wise, that we think of all the things we should of said. We all do it, we all come up with the witty and funny comeback just a few minutes to late. This point brings me to my point:) I thought it would be fun to list all the questions and comments we get along with the comebacks we should have said!  So for your enjoyment I have compiled a list of my top 5. Feel free to add to it! I hope you enjoyed my funny, commit this blog to memory, share it with your friends and come back for more stories from me:) I can promise you a laugh but I can’t promise you that I’ll always be politically correct. So if you can’t handle the heat then GET OUT OF MY KITCHEN!  ~~XOXO~~

~Mommamamom

***Disclaimer

         ***Snookums works very hard to support our family, we pay for ourselves:)

         ***He doesn’t really pretend not to know us…I don’t think :/  😉

         ***I love my children and would never really “chain ’em up” 🙂

         ***I’m not an English major nor do I care if I used correct grammar or spelling so go ahead and make fun all ya want, I don’t care!                   

TOP 5

1. Question: How do you feed all those kids?

    Witty comeback: With your tax dollars! (LOL)

2. Question: Where did you find her? (in regards to my adopted daughter)

    Witty comeback: There was an awesome sale at Babies R Us last week! I even had a coupon!

3. Question: You guys going to keep trying until you get your girl? (we ALWAYS got this question before we were blessed with our girl)

    Witty comeback: You going to keep trying until you have a cute one?

4. Question: Do you know what causes that?

    Witty comeback: Yep, it was that dang bottle of Moscato and six pack of Bud.

5. Question: How do you handle all these kids?

    Witty comeback: I just chain ’em up.