Tag Archives: boys

To my dear child,

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This world is scary, it is big, mean, cruel, unjust, cold, evil, unloving, and at times very dark. I want you, my child, to be aware, stay alert and be on your toes at all times. Be ready to fight and stand up for what is right. Be ready to be judged, mocked, laughed at, and sometimes beat down. You will be yelled at, spit upon, cursed, possibly by the person you love the most. There will be times when you have to stay strong in the midst of complete and utter fear and despair. You can’t let your guard down, not even for a second. Your heart will be broken, you will lose jobs, you will lose loved ones to death and sometimes even worse…drugs and alcohol. You will see grown men cry and innocent children hurt beyond repair. In your lifetime you will witness famine and war. You will see people of power, people in which you are suppose to trust, lie, cheat, steal, and kill. Sadly you will hear of people being murdered because of their choice in clothes, lovers, music, freedom of expression. There will be children that kill themselves because the cruelty of other children is unbearable. In your lifetime you will have to watch your spouse, parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, brothers, sisters, or possibly even God forbid your children fight battles with cancer and other diseases. You will suffer loss so horrific that you won’t be able to see the sun shining for weeks, even on the brightest day. Sadly, there will be times you feel scared and alone.

However, you are not alone. “Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.” (Deuteronomy 31:6) I want you to know my dear child that through all of this you will never be alone. All earthly people will at times disappoint you, even me, the one who felt you grow from within me for nine months, even me, the one who prayed for your existence in my life and felt you grow within my heart. The greatest people will disappoint you in times of your greatest need. In all of your existence there will only be one that can truly give you what you need. There is only one that will always be there, showing you the love, grace and forgiveness that you need. You will not feel deserving or worthy of it. You won’t believe that it is really there. You will probably always question it. I do. But I want you to know and to believe that you are worthy and deserving and special. You are fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14). Our God, your God is always there and never disappointing.

“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” (Isaiah 41:10) Now you know that through all the angst of the world in which you have no choice but to live in, there is hope. There is hope in God, and if you have hope in God then you have a chance at life. Please hold onto the hope and love that God gives you. If you can do this, you will live a life full of color and happiness. With hope in your heart you will see hunger being satisfied. You will see smiles and hear laughter. You will see war’s coming to an end and lives being rebuilt. With hope, doors will close and new ones will be opened for you. You will reach for the stars and succeed. You will see the good in helping people up after they have fallen. You will want to be the solid rock in which helps them climb up instead of the jagged edge that trips them. There will be first dates, first kisses and late night phone conversations. You will run and be free and oh baby, you will smile, will you ever smile! You will dance at your wedding and be a witness to life being born. You will know true love and pure joy. There will be sunsets and sunrises that are so beautiful that no words could ever describe. You will sing so loud you’ll lose your voice and dance so hard you’ll lose your breath. You will laugh, oh child, you will laugh so hard tears will fall! You will rejoice in battles that have been won, and you will hold onto those you love when they start to lose hope from battles lost. There will be birthdays and cake, yes, lot’s of cake! You will walk barefoot in soft grass and warm sand. You will swim in waters that have no end in sight. Did I mention you will love and you will be loved? There will be great joy in looking back at the years you have lived and knowing that you lived, you really lived a life full of hope, love, grace, and happiness.

There is one more thing I want you to know. Always remember that I love you. I have loved you from the beginning and I will love you until the end. There will be times I disappoint you and I know that there will be moments I am disappointed in you, but there is one thing that will never end and that is my love for you. A life without disappointment is no life lived at all. Go out and spread your wings. Live this life to the fullest. Achieve the greatest and don’t be afraid to fall, just get up and try again. Smile that beautiful smile of yours. It would be a disservice to the world to keep it to yourself. Try new things. Meet new people. Visit new places. Make mistakes and learn from them. Open your heart and mind and love life. Listen, listen, listen to the sounds of the world. And pray like there is no tomorrow. Ask for God’s guidance in all that you do and you will live a successful, promising life and you will leave a mark on this world to be proud of. “The Lord is with me; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?” (Psalm 118:6)

Love,
Your Mom…

P.S. I hope I’m there to see it all!

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I’ll tell you one more time, keep the seat UP…and other advice for the weary mom

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For a long time, I don’t think anybody thought Snookums and I would ever have a girl! I didn’t even think we would ever have a girl! If it hadn’t been for divine intervention we wouldn’t have had a little girl! So up until a little over two years ago I was an exclusive member of the Boy Mom Club, heck, I was the stinkin president! Oh and people thought it was hilarious, they just knew that all our boys were an attempt at havin’ us a girl:)

Boy Mom’s, I feel you, I can relate to your heightened sense of smelling pee miles away like a hound dog. I get the madness of finding rocks in the dryer (dangit, I should have checked his pockets!) Of course there’s always the 1,435 minutes of the day that your son has his hands on his wee wee, pee pee, ding dong, ding a ling, junk, call it whatever, but why is it that for the combined 5 minutes total taken throughout the day to pee his hands are nowhere to be found? There gone, he has had a sudden case of amnesia, he has forgotten where his pee stick is and it is squirtin that nasty smellin stuff all over the bathroom. (excuse the graphics for those of you who don’t have boys) Can I get an amen from you boy mom’s though??!!! And let me tell ya, the whole pee thing does NOT get better with age!  Then we have the various contests such as…. the burping contest, the farting contest, the chugging contest, the who can jump highest contest, the who can run faster contest, and one of my all time favorites (NOT) (by the way, I find that my conversational skills are stuck in middle school, so when I say NOT imagine me saying it in an obnoxious, loud, syllables- drawn -out, way:) ) the who can punch the hardest contest. This one always ends up with ALL of them screaming, crying, and at least one (Butter Bean, poor guy) bleeding. And just like the whole peeing thing doesn’t get better with age neither does the wrestling thing….Snookums is usually right in the middle of it by the end:) You all know what I’m talking about don’t ya? I have found that as boys age they just get smellier and louder and messier and grosser and, and, and, I could go on forever!
Let me tell ya, when Sister Sue came home to us I was on cloud 9, oh my I was going to have a partner in crime. Yes, we would go shopping together, we could get mani’s and pedi’s, stay up late watching ‘chick flicks’, do each others hair, and so on….. NOT! Boy was I mistaken, of course she is just a little firecracker still, maybe she will grow into the lady that I dream of, hahahahahahaha, I’m definitely not betting on it cause at the rate she’s going the odds are stacking up against me:) If you think boys are challenging, you haven’t met Sister Sue! Oh yes, from afar she looks like a sweet, beautiful, innocent little princess but then you get a little closer and you can see… She is a rough and tough dirt princess! At any given moment I can hear the terrified screams from one of her, did I mention older, brothers as she is beating him down! “MoOOOoooOOOmmM, help, Sissy is hurting me” LOL. No joke, I’m praying now for any boy/man who crosses her path in the future! He won’t have to worry about the fact that she has FIVE brothers and a super tough Daddy if he can get through her front lines than they’ll be a piece of cake:) She is tougher than any boy, she runs instead of walks, she screams instead of speaks, she pees standing up ( seriously, she tries too, I caught her peeing all over the bathroom floor the other day while she was standing in front of the toilet!) and she sleeps with one eye open. What I’m getting at here is even though I have my daughter, I’m still in the club with ya!

When I see other mom’s around with little boys I just give her the look and she knows I know! She knows that I’m not judging as I’m looking at her son that has 2 different shoes on and possibly a winter hat in the middle of summer:) Oh yeah, she can tell from the look that I’ve been there or probably she is looking at one of mine in the same ‘get up’ and feeling a sense of relief that hers isn’t the only one! Yeeeuup, it’s always comforting to hear another Mom’s son singing the new ‘classy’ hit Wiggle:) You read it right, you may know the song it goes a little like this….You know what to do with that big, fat, butt?….Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, Just a little bit. Before that song it was “I’m Sexy and I know it” there is just something about hearing a 3-year-old sing and dance to that song………I know, I know, you may be thinking “What kind of Mom are you??” Don’t judge, and give me a little credit, I HAVE SIX KIDS!!!!!!! On that particular song I did however, try to get little Butter Bean to sing “I’m Elmo and I know It”.  Snookums and I try really hard to instill good values and morals into our children, but when it comes to some things we choose our battles! That right there(said in my best Larry the Cable Guy voice) is one of the best pieces of advice I can give you as a Mom….choose your battles. With that being said I would like to leave you with my advice for boy Mom’s or in some cases tom boy Mom’s:) I would love to hear from you! Let me hear what you’ve got to say!!  Comment on this post and tell me your best advice:) As always, thank you for reading and I sincerely hope you enjoyed it! If you can relate to this or know someone who can SHARE IT!! If you laughed during this SHARE IT!!!! Follow my blog to get email notifications of new posts:) Have a Blessed Day!!!

XOXOXO~

~Mommamamom~

 

***Disclaimers***

***For those of you that shy easily I used the words pee pee, wee wee, ding dong, ding a ling, junk, pee stick. I could have used a lot worse and I didn’t, so for that, be grateful.

***I don’t really let my daughter pee standing up all the time, there has just been a few times and I couldn’t stop her because I was laughing so hard at the sight of it!

***In regards to the punching contest…..we do NOT run a child fighting ring….I promise:)

My Advice to all you Boy Mom’s……

1. It does not get better with age, any of it, they only get louder, bigger, tougher, taller.

Food For Thought: the taller they are, the further from the toilet they are aiming….

2. Buy lots of bleach and Clorox Wipes.  (you will need these to clean up the pee splatters on the toilet, wall, baseboards….)

3. Get ready to spend BIG BUCKS at the grocery store!  Boys are hungry ALL THE TIME!!!!

4. Teach them how to cook! They’ll thank you later:)

5. At some point in your life Cheese balls can and will be your best friend. “Mama, I’m starving (this is said right after they finish supper)” Grab the Cheese balls!!!!!! Hey, they’re made with “real cheese” 🙂

6. Boys like to play with guns. Boys like to fake shoot people with guns. You can exhaust yourself trying to tell them not to “shoot people” this is a good thing, teach them this, but keep in mind they are still going to fake shoot you! Let them, it’s how they learn to use their imagination. More than likely pretending to play cops and robbers or cowboys and Indians will not make them mass murderers when they get older.

7. Teach them to dance. (before they get too old and embarrassed to let you)

8. Buy LOTS of Spray ‘N Wash. The other brand just doesn’t get the job done! (Spray ‘N Wash should hire me to do commercials for them! As much as I’ve bought I should be a partner in the company!)

9. Let them know it’s okay to cry sometimes. But make sure that they know that the middle of the ball field is not an appropriate place or time. We have to teach them to be okay with their emotions and feelings but we don’t want them to be pansies.  They gotta know when to hold it together and when to let it go.

10. Teach them to be affectionate and have compassion for others.

11. DO NOT give them everything they want!

12. Make them work, hard, hard work.

13. Make sure they know that it’s Ladies first.

14. Let them wear you high heels and jewelry and carry your old purse around.  It’s a stage they go through and it’s ok!!! They will grow out of it:)

15. Do not act like you’re afraid of bugs, that will only make it more fun for them to throw on you!

16. Get use to and ok with dirty fingernails and faces and stinky butts and feet! And please know it is not a reflection of your mommy skills.

17. Teach them how to clean! Make them sweep, mop, do the dishes, laundry…. but remember it won’t be perfect, it takes practice. Lots and lots of practice 🙂

18. Cherish your Mama’s boys now, because before too long they’re gonna catch on to how much more fun their Dad is!

19. It’s ok to scream, sometimes it’s the only way you’re gonna get heard!

20. Let them make mistakes and suffer the consequences.

21. Teach them to say “I’m sorry”.

22. Mud is fun in a controlled setting….hahaha yeah right….Mud is fun all the time!!! Little boys and some little girls are just mud magnets, it’ll wash off:)

23. Teach them manners, but don’t get your undies in a wad when they use their shirt, hands, your shirt, couch, chair whatever it may be to wipe their face or nose….IT WILL HAPPEN!

24. Keeping the toilet seat up is much easier than keeping it down. Trust me.

25. Please, please raise GENTLEmen, the kind that can take control of a situation and handle it but also isn’t afraid to admit to being scared after! Let’s face it the world is lacking this kind of man.

One of my all time favorite bible verses is Proverbs 22:6 “Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.” I believe that there is nothing more true than this verse.  There may be times of doubt but I believe that one day we will look back on these days and look up to the men we have raised and see that all of our, what we may have thought, were failed attempts were successful. We will be able to look into the eyes of our little boy and be proud of the man who stands before us. And maybe just maybe all the times of feeling invisible and unappreciated will fade and we will be able to see that God had a plan all along and not only did he use us to train up our children but he used our children to train us in the way we should go.

Girl, Don’t you know what causes that?…Part Deux

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It all started Saturday morning. I woke up at 6:00 a.m. to the birds chirping and a gentle breeze rustling my bedroom curtains. Hahahaha, okay, okay, so I rolled outta bed around 9 to a horrid screeching noise that sounded like it was painfully escaping…is that Why for, no, nope, definitely not, its Sporty McGee! You see Sporty McGee thinks that these God awful, unnatural, throaty sounds that he can make are cute. So FAR from cute, bordering on, if you don’t stop I’m going to rip you voice box out! Anyway, I scramble out the tangled mess of blankets that have unsuccessfully tried to eat me in the middle of the night. I’m. Going. to. strangle. that. child. Or maybe I’ll just have to breathe on him and the stank from my morning breath (post hot tamales before bed party) will silence him into submission. I start screaming “Sporty McGee SHUT IT! Everybody, get dressed quick, we got us some shopping to do!” The kids all of a sudden burst out into excited chatter, “oh shopping!” “Mama, I want an Xbox One” “Can I get Titanfall?” “Bad A** I need some new shoes!” My head jerks around as I’m clearing my throat, “Ummmm excuse ME Sporty McGee, what did you just say?” insert awkward silence here.  (Sporty McGee frequently forgets he just a young pup) “I said awesome Mom, I need some new shoes” insert oops busted, smile here.  “Yeah, that’s what I thought you said” I say this as I’m giving him the eye. The eye as in ‘boy I’m gonna whoop yo butt’, the eye as in ‘yo betta watch yoself’, or the eye as in “SHE’S GONNA BLOoOoOW!”  ~ “Oh silly children, we aren’t going shopping for you! Tomorrow’s Father’s Day, we gotta go get your Daddy something.” I explain in my best fairytale telling voice.  As I’m sure most of you know, a fairytale telling voice is one that is spoken in a sing song manner.  “Now get dressed PRONTO! I’m leaving in 5.” hahaha! Yeah right maybe 5 minutes in a Walgreens world (remember those commercials?)

Sooooo, an hour later we are all piled in the car ready to start our Father’s Day shopping extravaganza…first stop Atwoods!  We roll into Atwoods and SCORE (my life is all about “winning” these days) find a spot right next to the cart return! Oh yes, the days of parking as far away from that monstrosity so the car doesn’t banged up are loooong gone! Psshhhh! Besides, a dent from a runaway cart would go nicely with the side scratch from Butter Beans bike:) After I pull into the coveted spot and throw the bus into park, I bow my head dramatically as if I’m praying(I actually am praying for my sanity and patience) but I do this to quiet the congregation.  When I dramatically bow my head my little stars usually start saying “I didn’t do it!” before they quiet and listen to what the Big Kahuna has to say.  I slowly turn to face them and I speak in a quiet and gruff voice, I say “So help me Mother Mary, if ya’ll act up in here YOU WONT WANT TO SEE THE OUTCOME, make me proud kids, make me proud” After our little pep talk we all fall out of the bus. (or some people have felt the need to tell me that my precious family reminds them of clowns getting out of the car, “they just kept comin” haha) So for entertainment sake lets pretend that we pile out of a little ‘ole Volkswagen Bug! We all stand side by side holding hands taking up half the length of the parking lot as we walk in (imagine that there is a way cool them song playing while we walk across the parking lot, something like Bon Jovi’s Wanted Dead or Alive) We make it inside the store and grab a cart, I start throwing kids in while the big ones argue over who gets to push.  I look up from my work and notice the smug look and slight head shake I’m getting from a, well we’ll call her “nice”, lady.  I look her in the eye as she is silently counting my children and say “What? Haven’t ya ever seen a mama bring her kids to the store to shop for their daddies?” (notice I used Daddies in the plural form, yes as in a different Daddy for each one) Muahhhahahahaha, Just kidding, I totally didn’t, but imagine what the look on her face would have been had I actually said that!

After Atwoods, we head to the mall!  Once we get to the mall we hit a few stores pretty uneventfully until I stop in Hallmark on our way out. Which by the way is NOT a good store to take 5 boys and 1 girl who thinks she is a boy into! They really should reconfigure the lay out of their store! Anyhow, as I’m swatting hands back and hollering “stop that, don’t touch” I meet a man who finds my situation comical:) As he is chuckling he says “Boy, you got your hands full don’t ya?!” He continues to walk away but then stops and says (because obviously this is an important question) “Hey, I didn’t even ask…are they ALL yours?” I shake my head yes. Laughing even harder now he points towards us and says “Look Honey, better her than me huh?” hahaha.  Oh boy, the things people say! Boy, he doesn’t know how lucky he is that I prayed for sanity and patience before I went shopping, does he?!?!!! LOL.  After taking a quick break at the water park, we end our Father’s Day shopping extravaganza at Wal-Mart with Snookums. In Wal-Mart Snookums and I divide and conquer.  He takes half to the hunting and fishing department, while I take the other half to get what I need.  After I’m finished gathering all my items my half and I join Snookums, I turn the cart down the aisle to find Snookums talking fishing lures with his new pal, Gently Used Gent (image a very big, loud, country boy). When I join the pair, Gently Used Gent, or lets call him G.U.S. looks at me and says in a boisterous voice “you do have a brute of kids don’t ya!” insert knee slapping and lots of laughing here. “Oh boooooy, that’s a lot of kids! I don’t think I’ve ever seen so many before (he’s obviously exaggerating, I mean come on, who hasn’t seen 19 kids and counting) They all yours?” Snookums chuckling says “Yes, Sir they are” G.U.S. continues with “Don’t you know what causes that?” Okay, at this point I magically freeze the scene (like they do in movies) and I think to myself, OMG (said in my most annoying “valley girl” voice)  here’s my chance to use one of my witty comebacks! Unfreeze scene. “Well of course we do, that’s the problem” says me:) Ummmm I should definitely rethink who I use my witty comebacks to in the future! My reply to G.U.S.’s question seems to really get him all excited, he starts laughing loudly again and he says to Snookums…..”How’d ya find one like her (talking about me) I gotta get me one of those! oh man, and she likes to fish! Wow, I’m gonna give you my number in case you find another one” At this point you are probably wondering if this really happened….yes, yes it did! He not only gave Snookums his number once but by the end of the conversation he had given it to him THREE times!! Oh I’m telling ya, the things people say!

Thank you for stopping by and reading my newest one!! If this one put a smile on your face and made you LOL then please share, share away with your friends! I appreciate you ALL! Have a Blessed day:)

XOXOXO~

~Mommamamom~ 

 

***Disclaimers***

***Snookums nor I condone childhood cussing and neither should you;) If you or someone you know suffers with this please seek help immediately.

***I would never really rip my child’s voice box out.

***Most days the things people say to me do not bother me. I actually get a kick out of them! So if you know me personally and are now racking your brain trying to remember what you have said to me in the past…STOP…and don’t worry I’m sure you’ll remember when you read about it in my blog:)

Girl, don’t you know what causes that?

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Yes, as a matter of fact I do know what causes this! Snookums’ likes to respond with “that’s the problem” then he follows with a hardy hahaha. Having a large family comes with its fare share of “luggage” but one of my favorite and sometimes very annoying “carry on bags” is the one filled with all the questions, looks, whispers and just flat out bug eyed stares that we get on any given family outing.  Oh yes, people love to ask questions and make assumptions.  For the most part snookums and I can find the humor in it, but of course there are always those times when we have had “one of those days”. You know what kind I’m talking about. The kind that make Mommy Dearest look like Mary Poppins, the days that you find yourself googling the nearest mental hospital because that’s the closet version of a day spa you’ll ever lay eyes on! Yes, the days where your hairs a mess and you very well may have the same make up on from the night before. Yep, the kind of day when you are afraid to smile too big because you can’t recall if you brushed your teeth this morning or not! Those are always the days that we get the skeptical look, when we’re waiting in the check out line at Wal-Mart, the look of “where’d that one come from”?  Let me paint the picture…Me standing in line at Wal-Mart. I’ve got one hand holding onto the back of the baby’s shirt (so he doesn’t fall out of the cart of course) the other arm is reaching over into the basket swatting at the daughter’s eager efforts to open the ice cream carton, my leg is bent in an awkward position trying to protect the “I want this” stuff marketing people so cleverly place low to the ground in the check out stations from my “challenger” and I am looking in every which direction saying, “no you can’t have that, hey don’t touch that, I said no you, oh heck whoever you are”  to my three bigs whom I might add are suppose to know better. *sarcastic cough* yeah right *sarcastic cough*. Snookums is usually totally embarrassed and over it by this point that he is pretending not to be with us. While all of this is going on I have the lady behind me say “boy you guys have you’re hands full don’t ya.” Then, lady behind me will very dramatically look and every single one of the eight of us and then look back at our daughter and then snookums and me and then back at my daughter and so curiously ask “Are they ALL yours?” (I guess those of you reading this may be wondering why the looks? Our daughter is biracial and we were blessed by God with the chance to make her ours through adoption.) By this point I’m ready to scream in my best Ross Gellar impersonation with my hands flailing  “We were on a break!!!!” (Friends, best sitcom of all time!). Instead I ever so politely say “Yes, they are all ours whether it be biologically or through the wonderful gift of adoption” insert prettiest smile here.  It’s times like this, when snookums and I are walking back to the car, heads hanging, because we gave into our children’s relentless begging’s for chocolate, that we review the questions we get on a daily basis, most of the time from complete strangers.  It is in the safety of our car, which by the way would give a hard rock concert a run for it’s money noise wise, that we think of all the things we should of said. We all do it, we all come up with the witty and funny comeback just a few minutes to late. This point brings me to my point:) I thought it would be fun to list all the questions and comments we get along with the comebacks we should have said!  So for your enjoyment I have compiled a list of my top 5. Feel free to add to it! I hope you enjoyed my funny, commit this blog to memory, share it with your friends and come back for more stories from me:) I can promise you a laugh but I can’t promise you that I’ll always be politically correct. So if you can’t handle the heat then GET OUT OF MY KITCHEN!  ~~XOXO~~

~Mommamamom

***Disclaimer

         ***Snookums works very hard to support our family, we pay for ourselves:)

         ***He doesn’t really pretend not to know us…I don’t think :/  😉

         ***I love my children and would never really “chain ’em up” 🙂

         ***I’m not an English major nor do I care if I used correct grammar or spelling so go ahead and make fun all ya want, I don’t care!                   

TOP 5

1. Question: How do you feed all those kids?

    Witty comeback: With your tax dollars! (LOL)

2. Question: Where did you find her? (in regards to my adopted daughter)

    Witty comeback: There was an awesome sale at Babies R Us last week! I even had a coupon!

3. Question: You guys going to keep trying until you get your girl? (we ALWAYS got this question before we were blessed with our girl)

    Witty comeback: You going to keep trying until you have a cute one?

4. Question: Do you know what causes that?

    Witty comeback: Yep, it was that dang bottle of Moscato and six pack of Bud.

5. Question: How do you handle all these kids?

    Witty comeback: I just chain ’em up.