Just because I love my children unconditionally doesn’t mean that I always like my children. There are times when I hear their voice calling my name and I hide like I’m the star witness against the biggest organized crime boss in the history of the mob! They walk through the house yelling “MOooOOOoooOOMmmmMMM, where are you????” I find myself testing there intelligence “Mom’s not here right now so leave a message after the beep” You know it’s really to hard like somebody all the time when you spend every. waking. moment. with. them! I want to live right by God but I’m no saint! I bet there are times when even God doesn’t like us very much. I know he loves us but do you honestly think that during those times of…say road rage he is thinking “awe she’s such a sweetheart, I really like her” Like when we are yelling every profanity there ever was at the car in front of us for sitting through a green light because they are soooo involved in Facebook on their phone? Yeah, I’m thinking not. I bet there will be a lot of moments throughout my kids’ lives that they aren’t going to like me either!
But for now, for you enjoyment I give you my top 10 list of…..I don’t like my kid when….
1. I don’t like my kid when… they ask for the last bite of my chocolate pie. Ummmm…..here I guess you can because sharing is suppose to be caring, right?
2. I don’t like my kid when…I tell them to go to bed and they all of a sudden remember that they have math homework…due tomorrow!
Fine! 1+1=2, 2+2=4….now go to bed and let that sink in!
3. I don’t like my kid when…I tell him to take out the trash and he instantly gets stricken with the urge to poop. Well you better hold it in until you get this darn trash out!
4. I don’t like my kid when…he has a sudden case of honesty at the water park. “He’s under 9.” “I AM NOT! I’m 10!” As if he is going to get 19.95’s worth out of the ‘big’ slide!
5. I don’t like my kid when…he tells his Dad about how exciting it was when the police officer asked for mommy’s license and insurance…. Ummm….now I have to poop…
6. I don’t like my kid when…I tell her to stop bugging her brother and she says (with hands on hips) “say it nice mom”. Oh I’m getting ready to say it ‘nicely’
7. I don’t like my kid when…he starts yodeling throughout the house using a high pitched, screeching sound in place of his normal voice. Don’t quit your day job, boy.
8. I don’t like my kid when…he asks me if it’s his turn on the computer yet..is it now?…is it now?….is it now?…. Perdoname, no habla ingles.
9. I don’t like my kid when…he unnecessarily repeats things I have said. My mom says you’re lazy……… I certainly did not! never speak in front of ears again repeat never speak in front of ears again.
10. I don’t like my kid when….I give him a hug and kiss in the morning and he tells me my breath stinks. Ha, never!
I absolutely love my kids and I would be lost without them but let’s face it sometimes kids are just plain mean. “Mom, am I getting a baby brother?!?” “No, why do you ask that?” “Because your belly is sooooooo BIG!”
The secret is out, mom’s are human too! So why don’t you like your kids?
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