“Why For! OH MY GOSH…put that book down! I thought I told you to NEVER look at my book EVER!” I screamed this as I walked into the room to find our oldest, studying a book that I had been reading. “Mama, this book has a bad word in it, it says F….” expresses Why For, innocently. Well, I’m sure by this point you are probably wondering at least two things. Number one…Why in the world would I forbid my child to look at my book, and number two….exactly what kind of book was I reading? Let me just tell ya, when it comes to the world we live in today it’s not just black and white anymore, there are a lot of Grey areas…Fifty Shades of Grey to be exact:) Haha!
Yes, I admit I read ALL the Fifty Shades books. I read them like I was in the witness protection program. I read them while wearing dark shades and a blonde wig! You all know what I’m talking about! You read it too. Didn’t you? How could anyone not be a little intrigued? What with women everywhere you looked, hurriedly pushing their carts through the grocery store in eager attempts to get the heck out of there and get home to their books. Women throwing sequels to the first one in their shopping carts and then piling the Charmin Ultra on top so nobody would see the shame that was awaiting them when they dug it out of the sack at home, but not before using the self checkout in an attempt to hide the smut, even from the checker. Throughout offices, churches, schools, hospitals there were hushed whispers of red rooms, chains and whips, mesmerizing eyes, and an oddly attractive young woman named Anastasia.
While reading the book, I found myself checking over my shoulder numerous times and turning as red as the walls of Mr. Grey’s pleasure room:) When people would ask “What are you reading” I would reply in a paranoid, high pitched, cracking voice…”What? Oh what am I reading? Oh um nothing, I mean it’s nothing, it’s just uh um oh you know one of those be a better parent books!” Of course, to be honest after the first day of receiving the book from a friend of mine I went straight home and got to reading. After reading the first few chapters I called my other friend and said “Oh Whitey, have I got the book for you!” Whitey was always saying…”I don’t have time to read” I hounded her non stop until she gave it a try and then we both pushed it on our gal pal Teener. Whom of course was instantly hooked!
My point here is the book Fifty Shades of Grey infiltrated the lives of women across the world like Justin Beiber’s haircut found its home on thousands of twelve year old boys’ heads across America. Yes, we were ashamed and exhilarated! Men were dropping to their knees with tears streaming down their cheeks crying up to the sky with praying hands uttering Thank you, thank you! Babies were being conceived and onesies were were flying off the shelves with cutesie little sayings such as 9 months ago my mom read fifty shades of grey.
This morning on the Today Show, they released the official trailer for the movie version of this risqué trilogy, well in true Mr. Grey fashion they could only show a portion of it because the full trailer was “too hot for morning TV” according to a writer for the Today Show website. What does this mean for all of us secret and not so secret Grey fans? HOLD ONTO YOUR HANDCUFFS CHICAS…February 13 is only 203 days away! Can I get a Vicki Gunvalson, Real House Wives of Orange County….. WOO HOO!!!!
***I did in fact read and enjoy all of the Fifty Shades of Grey books.
***Our sixth child is questioned by some, to be a result of the Grey phenomenon……
***The fact that I like the Grey Books does not make me any less of a good steward of God, the fact that I admit to it probably makes me a better one! Keep it real people, no need to hide who you really are:)
***Why For never picked up another one of my books again…………….