I’ll tell you one more time, keep the seat UP…and other advice for the weary mom

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For a long time, I don’t think anybody thought Snookums and I would ever have a girl! I didn’t even think we would ever have a girl! If it hadn’t been for divine intervention we wouldn’t have had a little girl! So up until a little over two years ago I was an exclusive member of the Boy Mom Club, heck, I was the stinkin president! Oh and people thought it was hilarious, they just knew that all our boys were an attempt at havin’ us a girl:)

Boy Mom’s, I feel you, I can relate to your heightened sense of smelling pee miles away like a hound dog. I get the madness of finding rocks in the dryer (dangit, I should have checked his pockets!) Of course there’s always the 1,435 minutes of the day that your son has his hands on his wee wee, pee pee, ding dong, ding a ling, junk, call it whatever, but why is it that for the combined 5 minutes total taken throughout the day to pee his hands are nowhere to be found? There gone, he has had a sudden case of amnesia, he has forgotten where his pee stick is and it is squirtin that nasty smellin stuff all over the bathroom. (excuse the graphics for those of you who don’t have boys) Can I get an amen from you boy mom’s though??!!! And let me tell ya, the whole pee thing does NOT get better with age!  Then we have the various contests such as…. the burping contest, the farting contest, the chugging contest, the who can jump highest contest, the who can run faster contest, and one of my all time favorites (NOT) (by the way, I find that my conversational skills are stuck in middle school, so when I say NOT imagine me saying it in an obnoxious, loud, syllables- drawn -out, way:) ) the who can punch the hardest contest. This one always ends up with ALL of them screaming, crying, and at least one (Butter Bean, poor guy) bleeding. And just like the whole peeing thing doesn’t get better with age neither does the wrestling thing….Snookums is usually right in the middle of it by the end:) You all know what I’m talking about don’t ya? I have found that as boys age they just get smellier and louder and messier and grosser and, and, and, I could go on forever!
Let me tell ya, when Sister Sue came home to us I was on cloud 9, oh my I was going to have a partner in crime. Yes, we would go shopping together, we could get mani’s and pedi’s, stay up late watching ‘chick flicks’, do each others hair, and so on….. NOT! Boy was I mistaken, of course she is just a little firecracker still, maybe she will grow into the lady that I dream of, hahahahahahaha, I’m definitely not betting on it cause at the rate she’s going the odds are stacking up against me:) If you think boys are challenging, you haven’t met Sister Sue! Oh yes, from afar she looks like a sweet, beautiful, innocent little princess but then you get a little closer and you can see… She is a rough and tough dirt princess! At any given moment I can hear the terrified screams from one of her, did I mention older, brothers as she is beating him down! “MoOOOoooOOOmmM, help, Sissy is hurting me” LOL. No joke, I’m praying now for any boy/man who crosses her path in the future! He won’t have to worry about the fact that she has FIVE brothers and a super tough Daddy if he can get through her front lines than they’ll be a piece of cake:) She is tougher than any boy, she runs instead of walks, she screams instead of speaks, she pees standing up ( seriously, she tries too, I caught her peeing all over the bathroom floor the other day while she was standing in front of the toilet!) and she sleeps with one eye open. What I’m getting at here is even though I have my daughter, I’m still in the club with ya!

When I see other mom’s around with little boys I just give her the look and she knows I know! She knows that I’m not judging as I’m looking at her son that has 2 different shoes on and possibly a winter hat in the middle of summer:) Oh yeah, she can tell from the look that I’ve been there or probably she is looking at one of mine in the same ‘get up’ and feeling a sense of relief that hers isn’t the only one! Yeeeuup, it’s always comforting to hear another Mom’s son singing the new ‘classy’ hit Wiggle:) You read it right, you may know the song it goes a little like this….You know what to do with that big, fat, butt?….Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, Just a little bit. Before that song it was “I’m Sexy and I know it” there is just something about hearing a 3-year-old sing and dance to that song………I know, I know, you may be thinking “What kind of Mom are you??” Don’t judge, and give me a little credit, I HAVE SIX KIDS!!!!!!! On that particular song I did however, try to get little Butter Bean to sing “I’m Elmo and I know It”.  Snookums and I try really hard to instill good values and morals into our children, but when it comes to some things we choose our battles! That right there(said in my best Larry the Cable Guy voice) is one of the best pieces of advice I can give you as a Mom….choose your battles. With that being said I would like to leave you with my advice for boy Mom’s or in some cases tom boy Mom’s:) I would love to hear from you! Let me hear what you’ve got to say!!  Comment on this post and tell me your best advice:) As always, thank you for reading and I sincerely hope you enjoyed it! If you can relate to this or know someone who can SHARE IT!! If you laughed during this SHARE IT!!!! Follow my blog to get email notifications of new posts:) Have a Blessed Day!!!

XOXOXO~

~Mommamamom~

 

***Disclaimers***

***For those of you that shy easily I used the words pee pee, wee wee, ding dong, ding a ling, junk, pee stick. I could have used a lot worse and I didn’t, so for that, be grateful.

***I don’t really let my daughter pee standing up all the time, there has just been a few times and I couldn’t stop her because I was laughing so hard at the sight of it!

***In regards to the punching contest…..we do NOT run a child fighting ring….I promise:)

My Advice to all you Boy Mom’s……

1. It does not get better with age, any of it, they only get louder, bigger, tougher, taller.

Food For Thought: the taller they are, the further from the toilet they are aiming….

2. Buy lots of bleach and Clorox Wipes.  (you will need these to clean up the pee splatters on the toilet, wall, baseboards….)

3. Get ready to spend BIG BUCKS at the grocery store!  Boys are hungry ALL THE TIME!!!!

4. Teach them how to cook! They’ll thank you later:)

5. At some point in your life Cheese balls can and will be your best friend. “Mama, I’m starving (this is said right after they finish supper)” Grab the Cheese balls!!!!!! Hey, they’re made with “real cheese” 🙂

6. Boys like to play with guns. Boys like to fake shoot people with guns. You can exhaust yourself trying to tell them not to “shoot people” this is a good thing, teach them this, but keep in mind they are still going to fake shoot you! Let them, it’s how they learn to use their imagination. More than likely pretending to play cops and robbers or cowboys and Indians will not make them mass murderers when they get older.

7. Teach them to dance. (before they get too old and embarrassed to let you)

8. Buy LOTS of Spray ‘N Wash. The other brand just doesn’t get the job done! (Spray ‘N Wash should hire me to do commercials for them! As much as I’ve bought I should be a partner in the company!)

9. Let them know it’s okay to cry sometimes. But make sure that they know that the middle of the ball field is not an appropriate place or time. We have to teach them to be okay with their emotions and feelings but we don’t want them to be pansies.  They gotta know when to hold it together and when to let it go.

10. Teach them to be affectionate and have compassion for others.

11. DO NOT give them everything they want!

12. Make them work, hard, hard work.

13. Make sure they know that it’s Ladies first.

14. Let them wear you high heels and jewelry and carry your old purse around.  It’s a stage they go through and it’s ok!!! They will grow out of it:)

15. Do not act like you’re afraid of bugs, that will only make it more fun for them to throw on you!

16. Get use to and ok with dirty fingernails and faces and stinky butts and feet! And please know it is not a reflection of your mommy skills.

17. Teach them how to clean! Make them sweep, mop, do the dishes, laundry…. but remember it won’t be perfect, it takes practice. Lots and lots of practice 🙂

18. Cherish your Mama’s boys now, because before too long they’re gonna catch on to how much more fun their Dad is!

19. It’s ok to scream, sometimes it’s the only way you’re gonna get heard!

20. Let them make mistakes and suffer the consequences.

21. Teach them to say “I’m sorry”.

22. Mud is fun in a controlled setting….hahaha yeah right….Mud is fun all the time!!! Little boys and some little girls are just mud magnets, it’ll wash off:)

23. Teach them manners, but don’t get your undies in a wad when they use their shirt, hands, your shirt, couch, chair whatever it may be to wipe their face or nose….IT WILL HAPPEN!

24. Keeping the toilet seat up is much easier than keeping it down. Trust me.

25. Please, please raise GENTLEmen, the kind that can take control of a situation and handle it but also isn’t afraid to admit to being scared after! Let’s face it the world is lacking this kind of man.

One of my all time favorite bible verses is Proverbs 22:6 “Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.” I believe that there is nothing more true than this verse.  There may be times of doubt but I believe that one day we will look back on these days and look up to the men we have raised and see that all of our, what we may have thought, were failed attempts were successful. We will be able to look into the eyes of our little boy and be proud of the man who stands before us. And maybe just maybe all the times of feeling invisible and unappreciated will fade and we will be able to see that God had a plan all along and not only did he use us to train up our children but he used our children to train us in the way we should go.

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11 responses »

  1. I can relate to most all of those. The song I’m sexy and I know mostly because Hayden(the three year old) loves that song and loves to thrust while singing it.. Not sure where he’s gotten that from.

    You got my hopes up, I should have known better though, having 2 older brothers, that it does not get better! And that they do just get smellier and all that! Lol great…

    Loved this! Thanks for an amusing read!

  2. Hub and I have four children. Three boys and a girl:) I thought I would only have all boys as well but she not only surprised us, but she was a she! Your descriptions and examples crack me up! Rocks in the dryer-check! Pee on the floor-check! Huge Grocery bill-check! Anyways, I appreciate your blogs! introduced to me by a long time friend that I believe knows you?? And I commend you for your family of 8! I thought 6 was a biggie but you’ve definitely “got your hands full” grrrrr hate that! Lol

    • Thank you, Alisha! It’s all the same once you hit the 3 kids mark! Haha:) and “got your hands full” ohemgeeee that one is definitely annoying! Hahahaha:) thank you for reading, I really appreciate it!! Keep watching for more!

  3. Love it!!! I have 1 boy (9) and 1 “rough and tuff dirt princess”, live the saying, want a Tshirt! Crying on the ball field best advice ever. I love that my son is not afraid to express his emotions and don’t want him to loose that quality but like you said they have to know when to suck it up! Great article !!!

    • Thank you!!! I just love well rounded little girls! I don’t think I would know what to do with a girly girl:) Teaching them that expressing their emotions thing is tricky! Right?!

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