Monthly Archives: June 2014

Aside

“He’s OUT!” are two very hard words to hear after you’ve watched your son or daughter run their little hearts out trying to beat the ball back to home plate. Sometimes though its harder and more frustrating to hear the parents in the stands, you know the kind:)  The kind that get out to the local little league fields and forget that they aren’t at Wrigley Field! Oh yeah you say, that kind! Oh and then there’s always the “Winning is Everything Coach” they’re always a joy to be stuck with for a whole good, part of your summer! These are the kind that keep stats on little kids and then decide that certain games are just too important to let little Jr.  play in, after all he just isn’t “there” yet. Where exactly is “there” for a say, nine year old or any child for that matter! Jr. here comes to play one evening and his mama promised him ice cream if he hits it out to the outfield, so guess what Jr. hits it out there every time! Then comes the next night of baseball and Jr. has been swimming ALL afternoon with his friends and you know what he just isn’t that into the game tonight, so he doesn’t hit as well as the night before…. HEY COACH, HOW’S YOUR STAT BOOK WORKING OUT FOR YA NOW??!! Hahaha!!!!!

Whatever happened to “for the love of the game”? I’m afraid to say it…but I think that concept is long gone! It seems to me that parents these days are way too worried about training the next major leaguer when first and foremost we should be teaching them how to love the game. Without that they’ve got nothin’. Don’t get me wrong here, I know not all parents are like this and one could argue that the ones that are…well at least they’re involved right? Right,you know what, I’ve had my own moments of getting wrapped up in it all! Sometimes I get so sad for the kids out on the field and what must be going on in their innocent, little heads. Picture this…you are, I don’t know say 9 years old. The kid up to bat has smacked the ball, you stop the ball while playing the field. Now, just sit there for a second and let how that child must be feeling sink in…Okay, back to the play at action…In you’re own little 9 yr old head you’re thinkin’ ok now where would the best place be to throw this ball? I gotta get the out or I’ll let my teammates and coaches down. Then all of a sudden you are brought back down to earth from the enormous amount of screaming going on in the stands and the dug out.  You get so confused…Do I listen to the parents in the stands telling me  screaming at me to “THROW THE BALL” or do I listen to my teammates who are hollering “TAG THE RUNNER” or should I do what my coaches are saying and “HOLD THE BALL” oh wait, I’m so confused…..who is saying what?!?! Talk about stressful, right?!? Imagine how much pressure these poor children are under being out there playing a game in front of all of these parents, friends, brothers, aunts, uncles… What’s even worse is when the little pitcher out on the mound hears the other parents on the other team screaming “Don’t swing at that one, geez that’s a terrible pitch. Wait for a good one” or how bout when they hear the parents from their own team yelling “Come on don’t just give it to him, make him work for it” How can these kids ever learn and get better when we are criticizing so much from the stands. Sure, that’s the way it’s going to be when they get older but that’s a looong time from now. Right now we need to make sure we are helping them build a strong foundation to stand on, one that they will be able to get back up on when they get knocked down.  Believe me, they are under enough pressure from themselves, they don’t need adults adding to it.

I’ve found that there are all kinds of parents out at the ballpark! You’ve got your “My kid’s the best” kind or “Is the season over yet” kind, the “coach knows nothing” kind or the “my kid needs to build confidence” kind. I think I fall somewhere in the middle, I’m a little bit of all of these kinds! There are times when I find myself getting frustrated with the positioning of the kids or the batting order, but I have to remind myself that I’m not the one volunteering my personal time to practice with these little munchkins and maybe just maybe they’re seeing something I’m not. I’ll go ahead and take this opportunity to thank all you, that have volunteered your time and endured endless conversations with parents telling you how it should be done! Thank you for trying your best to coach our children.

It’s hard being a parent and it’s even harder being a parent to a competitive child. How do you teach a child that winning isn’t everything, when we live in a world that screams IT IS! If anyone knows the answer to that one, please fill me in:) I’m starting to see problems with mine in particular wanting to argue with the umps. As I sit and watch this I’m thinking to myself…where is this coming from?  And then I tune into the stands (Snookums and I sit in lawn chairs away from the craziness amongst our own craziness) and I hear parents screaming at the umps “YOU NEED GLASSES” or “THATS A TERRIBLE CALL” well there ya go, how can we expect our children to act any different out there when that’s the example they are getting from the adults watching the game? I’ll admit,  I’ve been guilty of this myself. But darn it, sometimes you just plain want your baby to be called SAFE and not out:) Snookums and I have had many conversations with ours about calling out the umps. First off we don’t know what they are seeing from their vantage point. Secondly, bad call or not, the ump has the last word (him or the rule book!). You know, I think a lot of us parents are misunderstood. I do think that sometimes our excitement for them gets confused with being overbearing. But, there is a fine line we’re walking….you’re either living through your kids or for them and we’ve got to know the difference between the two because it can get confusing. If you are living through them eventually that’s gonna catch up to you. One of these days Jr. isn’t going to want to play anymore because all the fun has been sucked out of it like a hungry tick attached to your nether regions! Keep in mind, you had your chance, let your kids have theirs. As a parent I want my children to go on adventures of their own. Yes, I want to be apart of it but I have to remember it’s not my adventure anymore. I stand firm in the idea that if we don’t teach them to love the game first they’ll end up hating it.  So as summer baseball season comes to an end and we head out to watch the last of the tournaments, lets all try and keep in mind…it’s just a game, it’s suppose to be fun and when it stops being fun then that’s your sign to stop playing.

Thank you for taking time to read this! If you can relate to this or know someone who can then please SHARE IT with everyone!!!! I love hearing your thoughts so comment away! I hope you all have a truly blessed day!

XOXOXO~

~Mommamamom~

 

***Disclaimers***

***Don’t get your undies in a wad this post is about no one in particular, it’s just something that has been weighing on my heart and it’s more or less a summary of all of our experiences thus far with our kids and team sports! Good or bad we’ve learned valuable lessons and I have no hard feelings toward anyone ūüôā

***I promise I’m not trying to judge anyone and their actions… try being the operative word.

***I DO NOT agree with the whole everyone gets a trophy concept either…just to be clear:)

***Most of the parents I have had the pleasure of sharing my summers with have been great examples for our children!

 

For the Love of the Game…

Oh Look A Train!

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Here I sit at the dentist office awaiting the news of Why For’s tooth destiny. You see last Saturday we took an adventurous excursion to the water park. “Oh How fun” you say. Well it was…until Why For comes running over showing off his half gone tooth! Yes, half gone, the kid broke his tooth the first five minutes we were there. Oh but he didn’t just break any ole tooth, oh no, he broke his FRONT tooth, and it’s permanent!!!! So now here I sit with ALL the little angels. Of course back when we were trying to pick a dentist to use for the kids, I searched high and low for a kid friendly one:) well it just so happens that the one I so cleverly picked has motorized trains continually running throughout the whole office. Again, you say “Oh how fun” well sure it is, unless of course you have six children in tow, whom apparently have never witnessed such an amazing sight! And what do you think kids do when they’re excited? Oh I’ll tell ya…they jump around, scream, holler, laugh uncontrollably, point and annoy all the patrons that are quietly awaiting their appointment time. Every time that “awesome” train rolls around Sister Sue SCREAMS “MOM LOOK!” while she is doing what looks to be some sort of tribal dance in the middle of the room. I’m sure people are looking at me like ohemgeeee woman get OFF your phone! But I don’t care, the only way I am keeping my cool right now is by typing this! And besides, I’m afraid if I wait to write about this I’ll forget the “awesomeness” of the moment. You know, kinda like child birth! Oh thank The Lord! They have called us back:) guess what this means…it means we get to go back to the waiting room with the train table! Oh joy:)
Well we’re back here…aaaannnnddd they’ve been successful at “making theirselves at home” Oh but don’t worry, in case you were wondering…the train runs back here too:) During our time back here, I’ve got a couple of them fighting over who gets what train, one that’s climbing on a chair and another that’s, oh crap getting ready to drink someone’s (not in this family) water! I can hear drills and sucker out things and EVERYONE can hear my kids and they’re so called excitement! All this excitement has got me thinking about all of my “favorite” *insert sarcastic cough here* places I have to take my kids! So for fun today I’ll make my list of places and I want to hear from you! What’s your “favorite” place to take your kid or kids? As always thank you for reading and if you enjoyed my little story for the day, please share it with your friends!! Have a blessed day!!

***Disclaimers***

***I really did try and control my children in the waiting room!
***I too get a little excited seeing that train go around the room:)
***Normally my kids know how to act in public but today was just one of those days where the lights were on but nobody was home!

Top 5 List of my “favorite” places to take kids…

1. The dentist office (especially the one with the train). Not only are they completely annoying about the train, they’re usually super scared and I basically have to tie them to the dentist chair! Lol:)

2. The oil change place. Because it’s always fun to let your kids run around a small waiting area and watch them beat on the vending machine because they’re huuungrryyy.

3. The shoe store. You try fitting six kids with new shoes….I want this, I want that…blah blah blah! Add it up…that’s 12 shoes to tie!

4. The grocery store. This one doesn’t really need an explanation…does it? Hahaha

5. The court house. No, we don’t frequent that place often, hahaha! But, when we went to finalize Sister Sue’s adoption we told the boys to be very quiet in the court room or the Judge would be upset and of course Butter Bean picks this very moment to get a sudden case of the giggles, very loud giggles:)

Being a “Real” Mom in an imperfect world…

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“SCHOOLS OUT FOR SUMMER” is what my kiddos and I were singing on the last day of school back in May. Boy howdy did we have high hopes for summer back then… You know what? Summer time for a busy Mom is kinda like life after thirty. You know all those plans you had for yourself to accomplish in your twenties. It was going to be EPIC….then you hit thirty and you’re over here all like (excuse the language but…) “Where the hell did my twenties go?!?” I had high hopes for that decade…” Yeah well that’s what summertime is like for all of us “real” Mom’s. When I say “real” I mean the Mom’s who are already tired an hour after they get outta bed in the morning, Mom’s who don’t get showers daily, Mom’s who go bat crap crazy (occasionally) when the kid spills a whole bag (yes bag, We buy cheap here) of cereal ALL OVER THE FLOOR. The kind of Mom who sometimes screams for no good reason, but knows how to apologize to her family after throwing herself on the floor and trying to rip her church clothes off out of complete frustration and rage. (NO, I have not done this…but I do know someone who has….hahahaha) “Real” Mom’s make well intentioned plans that sometimes don’t pan out because life got in the way. “Real” Mom’s have hundreds of ideas to do with the kids, pinned on their pinterest page under the board titled “fun things for the kids” but probably haven’t gotten to the first one. A Mom’s famous last words “We will do that right after…..” In my case its…”We’ll do that right after baseball season is over.” Then I blink and half the summer is gone and baseball still isn’t over yet! There are days when I beat myself up because I’m not good enough or I’m not fun enough or I scream too much or I made peanut butter and jellies for the third day in a row for lunch (ok, maybe it’s been 5 days in a row) but you know what? THEY REALLY LIKE PB&J’s!! Sometimes I spend all day trying to clean the house and realize that it was a beautiful day outside and all my kids did was watch t.v.. Honestly those are the days I regret. I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that I think us Mommies and Daddies too spend so much time trying to make our lives and our children’s lives perfect that we miss out on a bunch of fun stuff. We miss out on the everyday moments of their childhood that will be gone in a blink of an eye. And it’s not because we aren’t good parents, oh no, it’s because we want to be the best! But guess what? Our kids already think we are! If only we could see ourselves through their eyes for a few moments, we would be able to see the loving way they look at us, the starry eyed looks. In their eyes life begins and ends with us, they think we hung the moon. A very wise man was once asked “Who is the greatest in the kingdom of Heaven?” well, let me just share the verse with you….Matthew 18:1-4 “At that time the disciples came to Jesus and asked, “Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?” He called a little child and had him stand among them. And he said: “I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.” This tells me that instead of trying to be a perfect Mom in the real world we need to be a “Real” Mom in an imperfect world and take the time to just play with our kids. So for all you Mom’s out there, let’s keep it real:) Don’t beat yourself up if you let the day get by without making that really cool homemade play dough you saw someone share on Facebook. Don’t worry if you yelled at your kid because you let the stress and emotions of the day get the best of you, just remember a hug and I’m sorry go a long way. It’s ok if your baby’s face still has a little bit of lunch on it when you go to the store. It’ll be ok if the dust on your mantle or bookshelf stays for one more day. You’re not a bad Mommy if your child didn’t make the Honor Roll this semester, there’s always the next! I guess my point for all of this rambling is summer is half way over and we haven’t done squat! Have you? If your answer is no, then I want you to know that you aren’t alone. I really believe that our kids won’t remember how many times we went to that expensive water park that one summer, but I bet they will remember having late night chats sittin out on the porch watching the lightening bugs buzz by. They’ll remember playing Candy Land, red rover, mother may I, red light green light, cigarette tag (yes, I said cigarette tag, you know, when you’re about to get tagged and you yell out a brand of cigarettes and sit down real fast so your not it!) and running through the sprinklers. Yes, our houses need cleaned and our laundry needs washed but remember to take time to humble yourself like your child and just play. You won’t regret it! I don’t want to look back on my kids childhood and wonder where it went. I want to look back on their childhood and remember the good times we had in the backyard:)
Thank you for reading and if you can relate to this please SHARE IT!!!! If you like what you read here then tell your friends about my blog! As always keep watching for more and have a truly Blessed Day!!!!

XOXOXO~
~Mommamamom~

I’ll tell you one more time, keep the seat UP…and other advice for the weary mom

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For a long time, I don’t think anybody thought Snookums and I would ever have a girl! I didn’t even think we would ever have a girl! If it hadn’t been for divine intervention we wouldn’t have had a little girl! So up until a little over two years ago I was an exclusive member of the Boy Mom Club, heck, I was the stinkin¬†president! Oh and people thought it was hilarious, they just knew that all our boys were an attempt at havin’ us a girl:)

Boy Mom’s, I feel you, I can relate to your heightened sense of smelling pee miles away like a hound dog. I get the madness of finding rocks in the dryer (dangit, I should have checked his pockets!) Of course there’s always the 1,435 minutes of the day that your son has his hands on his wee wee, pee pee, ding dong, ding a ling, junk, call it whatever, but why is it that for the combined 5 minutes total taken throughout the day to pee his hands are nowhere to be found? There gone, he has had a sudden case of amnesia, he has forgotten where his pee stick is and it is squirtin that nasty smellin stuff all over the bathroom. (excuse the graphics for those of you who don’t have boys) Can I get an amen from you boy mom’s though??!!! And let me tell ya, the whole pee thing does NOT get better with age!¬† Then we have the various contests such as…. the burping contest, the farting contest, the chugging contest, the who can jump highest contest, the who can run faster contest, and one of my all time favorites (NOT) (by the way, I find that my conversational skills are stuck in middle school, so when I say NOT imagine me saying it in an obnoxious, loud, syllables- drawn -out, way:) ) the who can punch the hardest contest. This one always ends up with ALL of them screaming, crying, and at least one (Butter Bean, poor guy) bleeding. And just like the whole peeing thing doesn’t get better with age neither does the wrestling thing….Snookums is usually right in the middle of it by the end:) You all know what I’m talking about don’t ya? I have found that as boys age they just get smellier and louder and messier and grosser and, and, and, I could go on forever!
Let me tell ya, when Sister Sue came home to us I was on cloud 9, oh my I was going to have a partner in crime. Yes, we would go shopping together, we could get mani’s and pedi’s, stay up late watching ‘chick flicks’, do each others hair, and so on….. NOT! Boy was I mistaken, of course she is just¬†a little firecracker still, maybe she will grow into the lady that I dream¬†of, hahahahahahaha, I’m definitely not betting on it cause at the¬†rate she’s going the odds are stacking up against me:) If¬†you think¬†boys¬†are challenging,¬†you haven’t met Sister Sue! Oh¬†yes,¬†from afar she looks like a sweet, beautiful, innocent little princess but then you get a little closer and you¬†can see… She is a rough and tough¬†dirt princess!¬†At any given moment I can hear the terrified screams from one of her, did I mention older, brothers as she is beating him down! “MoOOOoooOOOmmM, help, Sissy is hurting me”¬†LOL.¬†No joke,¬†I’m praying now for any¬†boy/man who crosses her path in the future! He won’t have to worry about the fact that she has¬†FIVE brothers and a super tough Daddy if he can get through her front lines than they’ll be a piece of cake:) She is tougher than any boy, she runs instead of walks, she screams instead of speaks, she pees standing up ( seriously, she¬†tries too, I caught her peeing¬†all over the¬†bathroom floor the other day¬†while she was standing in front of the toilet!) and she sleeps with one eye¬†open. What I’m getting at here is even though I have my daughter, I’m still in the club with ya!

When I see other mom’s around with little boys I just give her the look and she knows I know! She knows that I’m not judging as I’m looking at her son that has 2 different shoes on and possibly a winter hat in the middle of summer:) Oh yeah, she can tell from the look that I’ve been there or probably she is looking at one of mine in the same ‘get up’ and feeling a sense of relief that hers isn’t the only one! Yeeeuup, it’s always comforting to hear another Mom’s son singing the new ‘classy’ hit Wiggle:) You read it right, you may know the song it goes a little like this….You know what¬†to do with that big, fat, butt?….Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, Just a little bit. Before that song it was “I’m Sexy and I know it” there is just something about hearing a 3-year-old sing and dance to that song………I know, I know, you may be thinking “What kind of Mom are you??” Don’t judge, and give me a little credit, I HAVE SIX KIDS!!!!!!! On that particular song I did however, try to get little Butter Bean to¬†sing¬†“I’m Elmo and I know It”.¬† Snookums and I try really hard to instill good values and morals into our children, but when it comes to some things we choose¬†our battles! That right there(said in my best Larry the Cable Guy voice)¬†is one of the best pieces of advice I can¬†give you as a Mom….choose your battles.¬†With that being said I would like to leave you with my advice for boy Mom’s or in some cases tom boy Mom’s:) I would love to hear from you! Let me hear what you’ve got to say!!¬† Comment on this post and tell me your best advice:) As always, thank you for reading and I sincerely hope you enjoyed it! If you can relate to this or know someone who can SHARE IT!! If you laughed during this SHARE IT!!!! Follow my blog to get email notifications of new posts:) Have a Blessed Day!!!

XOXOXO~

~Mommamamom~

 

***Disclaimers***

***For those of you that shy easily I used the words pee pee, wee wee, ding dong, ding a ling, junk, pee stick. I could have used a lot worse and I didn’t, so for that, be grateful.

***I don’t really let my daughter pee standing up all the time, there has just been a few times and I couldn’t stop her because I was laughing so hard at the sight of it!

***In regards to the punching contest…..we do NOT run a child fighting ring….I promise:)

My Advice to all you Boy Mom’s……

1. It does not get better with age, any of it, they only get louder, bigger, tougher, taller.

Food For Thought: the taller they are, the further from the toilet they are aiming….

2. Buy lots of bleach and¬†Clorox Wipes.¬† (you will need these to clean up the pee splatters on the¬†toilet, wall, baseboards….)

3. Get ready to spend BIG BUCKS at the grocery store!  Boys are hungry ALL THE TIME!!!!

4. Teach them how to cook! They’ll thank you later:)

5. At some point in your life Cheese balls can and will be your best friend. “Mama, I’m starving (this is said right after they finish supper)” Grab the Cheese balls!!!!!! Hey, they’re made¬†with “real¬†cheese” ūüôā

6. Boys like to play with guns.¬†Boys like to¬†fake shoot¬†people with guns.¬†You can exhaust yourself trying to tell them not to¬†“shoot people” this is a good thing, teach them this, but keep in mind they are still going to fake shoot you! Let them, it’s how they learn to use their¬†imagination. More than likely pretending to play cops and robbers or cowboys and Indians will not make them mass murderers when they get older.

7. Teach them to dance. (before they get too old and embarrassed to let you)

8. Buy LOTS of Spray ‘N Wash. The other brand just doesn’t get the job done!¬†(Spray¬†‘N¬†Wash should hire me to do commercials for them!¬†As much as I’ve bought I should be a partner in the company!)

9. Let them know it’s okay to cry sometimes.¬†But¬†make sure that they know that the middle of the ball field is not an¬†appropriate¬†place or time. We have to teach them to be okay with their emotions and feelings but we don’t want them to be pansies.¬† They gotta know when to hold it together and when to let it go.

10. Teach them to be affectionate and have compassion for others.

11. DO NOT give them everything they want!

12. Make them work, hard, hard work.

13. Make sure they know that it’s Ladies¬†first.

14. Let¬†them wear you high heels and jewelry and carry your old purse around.¬† It’s a stage they go through and it’s ok!!! They will grow out of it:)

15. Do not act like you’re afraid of bugs, that will only make it more fun for them to throw on you!

16. Get use to and ok with dirty fingernails and faces and stinky butts and feet! And please know it is not a reflection of your mommy skills.

17. Teach them how to clean! Make them sweep, mop, do the dishes, laundry…. but remember it won’t be perfect, it takes practice. Lots and lots of practice ūüôā

18. Cherish your Mama’s boys now, because before too long they’re gonna catch on to how much more fun their Dad is!

19. It’s ok to scream, sometimes it’s the only way you’re gonna get heard!

20. Let them make mistakes and suffer the consequences.

21. Teach them to say “I’m sorry”.

22. Mud is fun in a controlled setting….hahaha yeah right….Mud is fun all the time!!! Little boys and some little girls are just mud magnets, it’ll wash off:)

23. Teach them manners, but don’t get your undies in a wad when they use their shirt, hands, your shirt, couch, chair whatever it may be to wipe their face or nose….IT WILL HAPPEN!

24. Keeping the toilet seat up is much easier than keeping it down. Trust me.

25. Please, please raise GENTLEmen, the kind that can take control of a situation and handle it but also isn’t afraid to admit to being scared after! Let’s face it the world is lacking this kind of man.

One of my all time favorite bible verses is Proverbs 22:6 “Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.” I believe that there is nothing more true than this verse.¬† There may be times of doubt but I believe that one day we will look back on these days and look up to the men we have raised and see that all of our, what we may have thought, were failed attempts were successful. We will be able to look into the eyes of our¬†little boy¬†and be proud of the man who stands before us. And maybe just maybe all the times of feeling invisible and unappreciated will fade and we will be able to see that God had a plan¬†all along and not only did he use us to train up our children but he used our children to train us in the way we should go.

Girl, Don’t you know what causes that?…Part Deux

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It all started Saturday morning. I woke up at 6:00 a.m. to the birds chirping and a gentle breeze rustling my bedroom curtains. Hahahaha, okay, okay, so I rolled outta bed around 9 to a horrid screeching noise that sounded like it was painfully escaping…is that Why for, no, nope, definitely not, its Sporty McGee! You see Sporty McGee thinks that these God awful, unnatural, throaty sounds that he can make are cute. So¬†FAR from cute, bordering on, if you don’t stop I’m going to rip you voice box out! Anyway, I¬†scramble out the tangled mess of blankets that have unsuccessfully tried to eat me in the middle of the night. I’m. Going. to. strangle. that. child. Or maybe¬†I’ll just have to breathe on him and the stank from my morning breath (post hot tamales before bed party) will silence him into submission. I start screaming “Sporty McGee¬†SHUT IT! Everybody, get dressed quick, we got us some shopping to do!” The kids all of a sudden burst out into excited chatter, “oh shopping!” “Mama, I want an Xbox One” “Can I get Titanfall?” “Bad A** I need some new shoes!” My head jerks around as I’m clearing my throat, “Ummmm excuse ME Sporty McGee, what did you just say?” insert awkward silence here.¬† (Sporty McGee frequently forgets he just a young pup) “I said awesome Mom, I need some new shoes” insert oops¬†busted, smile here.¬† “Yeah, that’s what I thought you said” I say this as I’m giving him the eye. The eye as in ‘boy I’m gonna whoop yo butt’, the eye as in ‘yo betta watch yoself’, or the eye as in “SHE’S GONNA BLOoOoOW!”¬† ~¬†“Oh silly children, we aren’t going shopping for you! Tomorrow’s Father’s Day, we gotta go get your Daddy something.” I explain in my best fairytale telling voice.¬† As I’m sure most of you know, a fairytale telling voice is one that is spoken in a sing song manner.¬† “Now get dressed PRONTO! I’m leaving in 5.” hahaha! Yeah right maybe 5 minutes in a Walgreens world (remember those commercials?)

Sooooo, an hour later we are all piled in the car ready to start our Father’s Day shopping extravaganza…first stop Atwoods!¬† We roll into Atwoods and SCORE (my life is all about “winning” these days) find a spot right next to the cart return! Oh yes, the days of parking as far away from that monstrosity so the car doesn’t banged up¬†are loooong gone! Psshhhh! Besides, a dent from a runaway cart would go nicely with the side scratch from Butter Beans bike:) After I pull into the coveted spot and throw the¬†bus into park, I bow my head dramatically as if I’m praying(I actually am praying for my sanity and¬†patience) but I do this to quiet the congregation.¬†¬†When I dramatically¬†bow my head¬†my little stars usually start saying “I didn’t do it!” before they quiet and listen to what¬†the Big Kahuna has to say.¬† I slowly turn to¬†face them and I speak in a quiet and¬†gruff voice, I say “So help me Mother Mary, if ya’ll act up in here YOU WONT WANT TO SEE THE OUTCOME, make me proud kids, make me proud” After our little pep talk we all¬†fall out¬†of the bus. (or some people have felt the need to tell¬†me that my precious family reminds them of clowns getting out of the car, “they just kept comin” haha) So for entertainment sake¬†lets pretend that we pile out of a little¬†‘ole¬†Volkswagen Bug! We all stand side by side¬†holding hands taking up¬†half the length of the parking¬†lot as we walk in (imagine that there is a way¬†cool them song playing¬†while we¬†walk across the parking lot, something like Bon Jovi’s Wanted Dead or Alive) We make it¬†inside the store and grab a cart, I start throwing kids in while the big ones argue over who gets to push.¬† I look up from my work and notice the smug look and slight head shake I’m getting from a, well we’ll call her “nice”, lady.¬† I look her in the eye as she is silently counting my children and say¬†“What? Haven’t ya ever seen a mama bring her kids to the store to shop for their daddies?” (notice I¬†used Daddies in the plural form, yes as in¬†a¬†different¬†Daddy for each one) Muahhhahahahaha, Just kidding, I totally didn’t,¬†but imagine what the look on her face would have been had I¬†actually¬†said that!

After Atwoods, we head to the mall!¬†¬†Once we get to the mall we hit a few stores¬†pretty uneventfully until I¬†stop in¬†Hallmark on our way out. Which by the way is NOT a good store to take¬†5 boys and 1 girl who thinks she is a boy into! They really should reconfigure the lay out of their store! Anyhow, as I’m swatting hands back and hollering “stop that, don’t touch” I meet a man who¬†finds my situation comical:) As he is chuckling he says “Boy, you got your hands full don’t ya?!” He continues to walk away but then stops and says (because obviously this is an important question) “Hey, I didn’t even ask…are they ALL yours?” I shake my head yes. Laughing even harder now he points towards us and says “Look Honey, better her than me huh?” hahaha. ¬†Oh boy, the things people say! Boy, he doesn’t know how lucky he is that I prayed for sanity and patience before I went shopping, does he?!?!!! LOL.¬† After taking a quick break at the water park, we end our¬†Father’s Day shopping extravaganza¬†at Wal-Mart with Snookums.¬†In¬†Wal-Mart Snookums and I divide and conquer.¬† He takes half to¬†the¬†hunting and fishing¬†department, while I take the other half to get what I need.¬† After I’m finished gathering all my items¬†my half and I¬†join Snookums,¬†I turn the cart down the aisle to find Snookums talking fishing lures with his new pal,¬†Gently Used Gent (image a very big, loud, country boy). When I join the pair, Gently Used Gent, or lets call him G.U.S. looks at me and says in a boisterous voice “you do have a brute of kids don’t ya!” insert knee slapping and lots of laughing here. “Oh boooooy, that’s a lot of kids! I don’t think I’ve ever seen so many before (he’s obviously exaggerating, I mean come on, who hasn’t seen 19 kids and counting) They all yours?” Snookums chuckling says “Yes, Sir they are” G.U.S. continues with “Don’t you know what causes that?” Okay, at this point I magically freeze the scene (like they do in movies) and I think to myself, OMG (said in my most annoying¬†“valley girl” voice) ¬†here’s my chance to use one of my witty comebacks! Unfreeze scene. “Well of¬†course we do,¬†that’s the problem” says me:) Ummmm I should definitely rethink who I¬†use my witty comebacks to in the future! My reply to G.U.S.’s¬†question seems to really¬†get him all excited, he starts laughing loudly again and he says to Snookums…..”How’d ya find one like her (talking about me) I gotta get me one of those! oh man, and she likes to fish! Wow, I’m gonna give you my number in case you find another one” At this point you are probably wondering if this really happened….yes, yes it did! He not only gave Snookums his number once but by the end of the conversation he had given it to him THREE times!! Oh I’m telling ya, the things people say!

Thank you for stopping by and reading my newest one!! If this one put a smile on your face and made you LOL then please share, share away with your friends! I appreciate you ALL! Have a Blessed day:)

XOXOXO~

~Mommamamom~ 

 

***Disclaimers***

***Snookums nor I condone childhood cussing and neither should you;) If you or someone you know suffers with this please seek help immediately.

***I would never really rip my child’s voice box out.

***Most days the things people say to me do not bother me. I actually get a kick out of them! So if you know me personally and are now racking your brain trying to remember what you have said to me in the past…STOP…and don’t worry I’m sure you’ll remember when you read about it in my blog:)

Aside

Father’s Day, the one day every year women across America pretend that they are excited for their husbands to go golfing. Or in mine and Snookums case it would be fishing:) Oh yes, the one time in 365 days, except for maybe on their birthday, that we wives put a smile on our face and bite our tongues as our husbands joyfully pack down the car, ice chests, boats, back packs, whatever it may to be to go on an adventure of their choice. (REWIND) Wait who am I kidding, Father’s Day is no different than Mother’s Day, let’s be real and call it what it is…Kid’s go shopping and make big breakfast mess Day!¬† It is a day that, yes dad’s can do¬†something for fun that they enjoy, but feel obligated to¬†take their little munchkins along¬†for the ride.

At the beginning of this post I had a different idea for where I was going with it, but the more I typed the more my thoughts started leaning in a different direction.¬† I had planned on writing a really funny, witty, knee slapper if you will. But like in a lot of things God had a different idea for me.¬† So here goes! I hope you all enjoy my Tribute to All You Good ‘Ole Boys.¬† Father,¬†Pops, Dad, Daddy call him what you will but there is a pretty universal meaning to these words. We all know Dad to mean the leading male role model in one’s life.¬† Does this mean that a Dad has to share the same DNA with the person that calls him this? Absolutely NOT! Let’s face it, “life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re gonna get” in the father department.¬† Some¬†of us¬†were blessed with¬†our biological Father being there from day one to the last.¬† Some¬†of us¬†were blessed to be raised by a¬†man who didn’t have any part in the actual “making” of us but stepped up to the plate, so to speak, to help raise us.¬† Dads come in all shapes, colors and sizes.¬† I’ve seen Dad’s come in the form of Grandpas, Uncles, Brothers, Friends.¬† If I was a bettin’ woman I would venture out to say that we all know someone who fits in one of these categories of¬†a¬†Father.¬†¬†In my case I have had the honor of being molded by several of these examples. Hahaha! Get your minds out of the¬†gutter!! NO, not because¬†my¬†Mom was that way!¬†My parents were very young when they had me, so growing up my Grandpa and my Uncles were my Father figures.¬† As I got older (and a little more accepting) I let my Stepdad have some influence in my life.¬† After I had children, a lifelong childhood dream came true, I reconnected with my Daddy (yep, the one that helped “make” me)!¬† Then of course one of the very best examples that I have of a Dad is my very own Snookums.¬† He has showed me everything I ever dreamed of what a good Dad would be.¬† Some people might look at my situation and think, Oh that poor girl.¬† But I look at my situation and realize that had things been different I may not have turned out to be the person I am today.¬† I love ALL the Father figures in my life! I know that God had a perfect plan and for whatever reason, he needed me to have My Gangy, Uncle Grumpy, Uncle Boom, Dervin, and my Dad help me in all the different stages of my life. I sometimes think that Dad’s are the unsung heroes of the family!¬† And, yes, I realize that sometimes mommies are pulling “double duty” in the parenting department.¬† Let’s just stop right here and give a SHOUT OUT to all you Mommies out there playing both roles, for whatever reason it may be. Maybe your other half is away fighting for our Freedoms or maybe he was taken from this life to soon, maybe he¬†has to work far from home to¬†put food on the table,¬†or maybe its just because he is one of the “deadbeats” whatever it may be I want to say THANK YOU to you!! You may feel invisible, you may feel worn out, you may feel like no one cares or understands but let me be the one to tell you, YOU ARE NOT ALONE, Joshua 1:9 “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”¬† There are so many tasks that Dad’s do that go unnoticed (or at least they think they do) but us Mommies notice them.¬† We notice and we¬†THANK YOU¬†for working hard EVERY DAY, for playing catch, for having tea parties, for “babysitting” your daughters dolly, for being the official spider killer, for coaching little league, for cooking breakfast on Saturday mornings (come on we all know that’s a Dad’s job), for changing dirty diapers when we are away (notice I said when we are AWAY) LOL, for kissing booboos and for wrestling and running amuck when our favorite television shows are on (of course we all have to drop to the floor and¬†army crawl around like we are on a raid when it’s something they want to watch) ūüôā ¬†And we thank you for the countless number of things you do that I didn’t list.¬† Dad’s You are AWESOME!!!!¬† Let’s take this time to reminisce and remember the good ‘ole days….the before I had kids days.¬† I have made a list of some of my favorite before and afters……..

Before:¬† Wife: “Hey honey will you pick up a six pack on your way home?”

Husband: “Sure babe, how bout a bottle of wine too?”

After:¬†¬†¬† Wife: “Hey honey will you pick up a six pack on your way home?”

Husband: “Sure babe, do the kids want Tangy Original or Smooth?” (Sunny D of course)

Before:¬† Picture Man hugging a beautiful red sports car “I shall call her Ruby”

After:¬†¬†¬†¬† Picture Man holding his first born “I shall call him son”

Before:  The man jammed out to Snoop Dog, Dr. Dre, and Tupac

After:¬†¬†¬†¬† Now he catches himself singing (out loud)¬†“Do you wanna build a Snowman?” at work.

Before:   The mans idea of a good wrestling match involved mud and scantily dressed woman.

After:      The mans idea of a good wrestling match is one that ends with one of the kids NOT crying in the end!

Thank you all for reading and I hope you all have had a fabulous Father’s Day so far!! If you know Dad like one of these or a double duty pulling Momma Share this! Keep watching for more!! God Bless!!!

XOXOXO

~Mommamamom~

Father’s Day: A Tribute to All You Good ‘Ole Boys

The tangled webs we weave…

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Mom, Mama, MoOOOOooooooOOOOmmmmMMMmm!!!!!! “WHAAAAT!!??!” I scream back.¬† “I lost a tooth!!!” is what my little butter bean tells me.¬† At this time he is 5ish and this is like his first tooth that he actually lost on his own, by that I mean the first tooth that the dentist didn’t have to pull. Hey don’t judge, we try really hard to remember to brush our teeth around here:) He is so excited that he gets to put his tooth under his pillow that night¬†and profit off of his pearly whites! So all of the clan, that is not napping, gathers around and we do our congratulatory high fives and way to goes. ¬†We carefully put his tooth in a plastic baggy and we lay it in the kitchen window seal to await its destiny.¬† The hustle and bustle of the day goes on and then comes night fall…. Snookums and I try tirelessly to get our little stars to GO. TO. SLEEP.¬† I have no shame when it comes to trying to get them to sleep, you try putting six energetic little¬†bunnies down for a good nights rest! I pull out all my tricks some of which may or may not include the night night monster, destruction to mankind as we know it, and my favorite if you don’t go to sleep the people that made SpongeBob are going to quit making it and you’ll never. get. to. watch. it. agaaaaiiin! Of course, I prayed for smart children and that is one¬†of the prayers that God answered just the way I wanted him too! You all know how prayers go we tell God¬†what we want¬†and the way we¬†want it and usually (this is how I imagine it anyway) he¬†hears us and then starts laughing uncontrollably and says in his beautiful booming¬†voice “Oh, really¬†Sally, so that’s the way I should handle that.¬†Hmm, well how bout I give you what you want in the way I want to and completely rock your world while I do it!”¬†Well, that didn’t happen for me in this case,¬†I prayed for smart¬†kids and God¬†gave them to me. Anyhoo, back to my story. So we try and try to get them to go to sleep and I’m sure your figuring out (from experience) where this is going, yep they are too darn smart to fall for my tricks. Soooo I try to wait them out (picture watching the Vatican and waiting for the smoke signal to let us know there’s been a new¬†Pope elected)¬†but all of a sudden there is a blinding light coming through the blinds, and yes, I wake up the next morning to a very angry, toothless, moneyless butter bean.¬† “MOOOOOOOOM, SHE DIDNT SHOW!”¬† Ooooops… “Ummmm, honey the tooth fairy was called out on an emergency run last night and she knew you of ALL kids would understand. Hey, I bet she leaves you even more money for having to wait. I think she pays interest.” insert reassuring smile here. ūüôā Well, that little lie seemed to tie him over for awhile anyway, but I knew I better not screw up again!¬† Snookums catches me in the hall and says in a death of a whisper “way to go tooth fairy” insert sarcastic smile here. Oh no he didn’t (said in my best Real Housewives of NY, Bethenny Frankel voice), choose your battles women, choose your battles.¬† We won’t watch the instant replay of this bad call now but we will put it in the file cabinet for future review! hahaha.¬† So, after feeling like “mom of the year” ~NOT~ all¬†day, I put the kids down early and wait them out like a¬†trained Navy¬†Seal.¬†¬†Or so I thought… I sneak very quietly into their bedroom, the 3 bigs shared a room at this time, I very carefully lift the pillow soaked with drool and slip the little baggie¬†with the money maker inside out from underneath butter¬†bean. Then just as I am¬†slipping the $2 (remember the interest) back underneath¬†the pillow and silently celebrating my “win” in my head¬†I hear “Mom, what are you doing?” Oh crap! I instantly go into Cheech and Chong, Up in Smoke mode paranoid as all get out looking from side to side to figure out which one it is. Then I see two big brown eyes staring at me in a very condescending way. bum bum buuum….Its big foot or sometimes known as “why for?” ¬†yep my one and only question master. Why for asks “Mom are you the tooth fairy?” Before answering this question I think long and hard for like a whole minute on what I should say. I could lie and make up some elaborate story that would give the one the night before a run for its money or I could hang my head and own up to the lie I have been living now for 9 years. So I decide that at his age it would be better to be honest, instead of continuing to let him believe that Larry the cable guy could grow wings and become very small when little children were sleeping and fly around collecting teeth in exchange for money (have you ever seen Tooth fairy 2) I would tell him that it was me.¬† To my surprise he took the news really well, but then again he has always been a little more mature than myself:) After the talk we both went to sleep, woke up the next morning and went about our business. But we had a connection, a shared secret just between the two of us we were now confidants.¬† So later that next day, I’m feeling pretty good cause I really just dodged a big bullet, Why for gets home from school. He starts lingering around me and hemming and hawing.¬† Finally, I start doing the dishes (this is when they all usually scatter, except my littles) and he is still lingering.¬† I’m starting to get a little worried at this point, he is normally gone by now, and BAM he lays a good one on me.¬† He says “So, Mom, I’ve been thinking…if you’re the tooth fairy, I’m starting to get really worried about Santa Claus!” AAAHHHH MAAAAN NOOOOOOOOO NOT SANTA!!!!!!!!! That’s what I was screaming on the inside! Don’t worry! I danced around that one and came out with a solid 10! Oh the tangled webs we weave!¬†Retelling this story has made me think about some of the ridiculous lies we tell our kids! These are usually pretty universal lies, like, Santa, the Tooth Fairy, the Easter Bunny, the Drain Monster…oh wait what’s that I hear you saying? What’s The Drain Monster? Is that one¬†only in my family? Don’t Judge, you try getting slippery little boogers out of the bath in timely manner:) I’ll give you my list of Top¬†5 ridiculous lies we tell our kids. But I also want to hear from you! I want to know what funny little lies you tell your kids:) Thank you for reading and I hope you fully enjoyed this one! If this put a smile on your face please, please SHARE with your friends!!! If you like what I have to write then follow my blog so that you will receive email updates when I post something new!! Keep watching for more and have a truly Blessed day!

xoxoxo

~Mommamamom

***Dislcaimers***

***A healthy marriage is not built on racking up negative points/ammo against the other. I try really hard to NOT do this! Try being the operative word:)

***This is MY version of how this story went down. I’m sure if you ask Snookums or our kids they would have a completely different view of what happened and I promise you it won’t be near as dramatic and it will be with a lot less “additives”

***My children do visit the Dentist regularly for preventative care. They just really LOVE candy, like their Mama:)

Top 5 List of ridiculous lies we tell our kids…

1. The Stork. Why yes child, you were dropped from 50 feet in the air on my doorstop by an overgrown bird with a hammock made out of a sheet!

2. If you don’t stay in your car seat the cops are going to arrest you. Ok, lets be honest here its our butts on the line not our 2 year olds:) LOL

3. The Night Night Monster. In our house at bed time, the night night monster wakes up and if the kids don’t go and lay in their bed he growls! I’m not sure whose bright idea this one was! I’m sure it was mine, I can imagine sitting in my chair and hearing for the umpteenth hundred time “MOOOOM I’m thirsty” and in my moment of weakness I growl at them and say “Go to bed, or I’ll get¬†the night night monster!” Mom of the year moment right there:)

4. Larry the Boys Home Coordinator. Yep, you read it right! I have had to threaten Sporty Mcgee numerous times with this one.¬†¬†“Sporty Mcgee if you don’t lose the attitude I’m sending you to a¬†boys home!” I’m sure you can picture me picking up my cell phone and calling “Larry” A LOT!! and then imagine my surprise when we got a new preacher and his name happened to be Larry! Sporty Mcgee cried in complete horror over going to church that Sunday!

5.¬†“Feeding the Fish”¬†¬†Our “challenger” has a¬†hard time going poo poo, #2, tiddle.¬† He will wait and wait and wait.¬† So Snookums did what any normal red blooded¬†American Father would do, he told him that¬†the fish down in the bottom of the¬†potty were hungry and¬†he needed to feed them:) So now our “challenger” will say “Mom, I need to go feed the fish now” ūüôā Works like a charm!

Girl, don’t you know what causes that?

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Yes, as a matter of fact I do know what causes this!¬†Snookums’ likes to respond with “that’s the problem” then he follows with a hardy¬†hahaha. Having a large family comes with its fare share of “luggage” but one of my favorite and sometimes very annoying¬†“carry on bags” is the one filled with all the questions, looks, whispers and just flat out bug eyed stares that we get on any given family outing.¬† Oh yes, people love to ask questions and make assumptions.¬† For the most part snookums and I can find the humor in it, but of course there are always those times when we have had “one of those days”. You know what kind I’m talking about. The kind that make Mommy Dearest look like Mary Poppins, the days that you find yourself googling the nearest mental hospital because that’s the closet version of a day spa you’ll ever lay eyes on! Yes, the days where your hairs a mess and you very well may have the same make up on from the night before. Yep, the kind of day when you are afraid to smile too big because you can’t recall if you brushed your teeth this morning or not! Those are always the days that we get the skeptical look, when we’re waiting in the check out line at Wal-Mart, the look of “where’d that one come from”?¬† Let me paint the picture…Me standing in line at Wal-Mart. I’ve got one hand holding onto the back of the baby’s shirt (so he doesn’t fall out of the cart of course) the other arm is reaching over into the basket swatting at the daughter’s eager efforts to open the ice cream carton, my leg is bent in an awkward¬†position trying to protect the “I want this” stuff marketing people so cleverly¬†place low to the ground in the check out stations from my “challenger” and I am looking in every which direction saying, “no you can’t have that, hey don’t touch that, I said no you, oh heck whoever you are” ¬†to my three bigs whom I might add are suppose to know better. *sarcastic cough* yeah right *sarcastic cough*. Snookums is usually totally embarrassed and over it by this point that he is pretending not to be with us. While all of this is going on I have the lady behind me say “boy you guys¬†have you’re hands full don’t ya.” Then, lady behind me will¬†very dramatically look and every single one of the eight of us and then look¬†back at our daughter and then¬†snookums and me and then back at my daughter and so curiously¬†ask “Are they ALL yours?” (I¬†guess¬†those of¬†you reading this may be wondering why the looks?¬†Our daughter is biracial and we were blessed by God¬†with the chance to make her¬†ours¬†through adoption.) By this point I’m ready to scream¬†in my best Ross Gellar impersonation with my hands flailing¬†¬†“We were on a break!!!!”¬†(Friends, best sitcom of all time!).¬†Instead I ever so politely say¬†“Yes, they are all ours whether it be¬†biologically or through the wonderful gift of adoption” insert prettiest smile here.¬†¬†It’s times like this, when snookums and I are walking back to the car, heads hanging, because we gave into our children’s relentless begging’s¬†for chocolate, that we review the questions we get on a daily basis, most of the time from complete strangers.¬† It is in the safety of our car, which by the way would give a hard rock concert a run for it’s money noise wise, that we think of all the things we should of said. We all do it, we all come up with the witty and funny comeback just a few minutes to late. This point brings me to my point:) I thought it would be fun to list all the questions and comments we get along with the comebacks we should have said!¬† So for your enjoyment I have compiled a list of my top 5. Feel free to add to it! I hope you enjoyed my funny, commit this blog to memory,¬†share it with your friends¬†and come back for more stories from me:) I can promise you a laugh but I can’t promise you that I’ll always be politically correct. So if you can’t handle the heat then GET OUT OF MY KITCHEN!¬† ~~XOXO~~

~Mommamamom

***Disclaimer

         ***Snookums works very hard to support our family, we pay for ourselves:)

¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬† ***He doesn’t really pretend not to know us…I don’t think¬†:/ ¬†ūüėČ

¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†***I love my children and would never really “chain¬†’em up” ūüôā

¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬† ***I’m not an English major nor do I care if I used correct grammar or spelling so go ahead and make fun all ya want, I¬†don’t care!¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†

TOP 5

1. Question: How do you feed all those kids?

    Witty comeback: With your tax dollars! (LOL)

2. Question: Where did you find her? (in regards to my adopted daughter)

    Witty comeback: There was an awesome sale at Babies R Us last week! I even had a coupon!

3. Question: You guys going to keep trying until you get your girl? (we ALWAYS got this question before we were blessed with our girl)

    Witty comeback: You going to keep trying until you have a cute one?

4. Question: Do you know what causes that?

    Witty comeback: Yep, it was that dang bottle of Moscato and six pack of Bud.

5. Question: How do you handle all these kids?

¬†¬†¬† Witty comeback: I¬†just chain¬†’em up.